


Assumption of Risk

by poledancingcrowley



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, but neither one knows the other feels the same, i promise this fanfic is worth it and i wont abandon it, im way to emotionally invested in it to let it die, this tortures me more than it tortures you i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8822935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poledancingcrowley/pseuds/poledancingcrowley
Summary: Jessica Davison, a pre-law student at Fordham University is assigned to hard-ass Rafael Barba when she becomes an intern at the Manhattan DA's office. The two develop a strong relationship as the internship goes on with a slow-burning passion. It is only in a fatal turn of events the two find that all is not fair in law and order.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica Davison is approached by a close friend and encouraged to apply opportunity of a lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fanfiction starts just a couple days after the end of the season 15 finale in May of 2014, according to the dates shown in the episode.

* * *

  **Fordham University**

 **Tuesday, May 20**  

* * *

 

A warm breeze soared through the air as Jessica stepped out of her dorm building, a duffle bag in each hand. Her medium length brown hair being tuseled slightly by the wind. She paused for a moment and took a deep breath, taking in the sight of the campus she loves. Across from her on the other side of the quad, she watched a girl attempting to study a set of flashcards as she walked. It was the last days of finals at Fordham. Jessica had finished just an hour prior, completing a Sociology exam. She began walking across the courtyard, silently saying goodbye to the sights she wouldn't see again until after the summer. She heard someone calling her name just as she was reaching the parking lot. She turned around slightly to see a figure running towards her. 

 

"Jess, hey!" The figure said to her as he got closer.

 

Jess turned around fully and smiled as he came to a stop in front of her. She dropped the duffle bags to the ground so she could hug him. "Mark!" The two embraced in a quick hug. "I didn't know you were on campus today."  

 

"Well yeah, just finished my first final." He replied. 

 

"How'd it go?" Jess knew Mark to be the "work hard, party harder" type and his appearance furthered that. His hair was disheveled and there were dark circles under his eyes. Granted, there were always circles under his eyes, but they were more defined than usual. 

 

"I don't want to talk about it," Mark told her.  "What about you?"

 

"I've been done since yesterday. I just got the rest of my stuff from my dorm. The RA said if everything's not gone by the end of the week it's being thrown out. They've gotta get ready for the summer semester."

 

"So when are you headed back home?"

 

"I'm not sure. Whenever I feel ready to drive down, I guess." Jess said.

 

"How are things with your parents?"

 

Jess huffed and rolled her eyes. "Horrible. They're in this huge fight over who gets the farm. Honestly, I don't even want to go back this summer."

 

Mark frowned at her. He had been there for her when Jess's parents had first told her they were getting divorced. Jess saw him as a confidant as his parents had a messy divorce in his senior year including three judges and a Chinese brothel. Suddenly he got a look on his face that Jess knew too well. "If you want something to do this summer to keep you in the city, the district attorney's office is accepting applications for summer interns."

 

"Yeah I know," She sighed. "Professor Garrett wouldn't stop talking about how we should apply because it will 'change our lives'." 

 

"Ah, that old softie. I miss him, he was my favorite professor last year. He's right, though, from what I've heard it's a great experience."

 

"That's a great idea and I would totally apply if I actually had a place to stay for the summer. I can't keep burning money on the hotel I'm in." Jess told him. 

 

"What about my apartment? It's in Manhattan not too far from the DA's office."

 

Jess froze. "Mark... you're my friend but, um, I couldn't live with you."

 

He started laughing. "Don't flatter yourself. I'm out of town after finals to spend the summer abroad but my landlord refused to keep the apartment open for next school year unless I kept my lease on it through the summer. I was planning on just renting it under the table but..."

 

"I couldn't," Jess gave him a small smile. "It's weird and I mean I doubt I'd even get the internship."

 

"Well apply today and find out. It can't hurt, right? If you get it, then you can use my apartment over the summer. If not, you can go back home. It's your choice, cowgirl."

 

Jessica winced. "I still hate that nickname. But fine. I'll apply. Thanks, dude."

 

"No problem. Let me know how it goes. I've gotta get some caffeine in me. I've got an Applied Math exam in two hours." 

 

"I will. Good luck with your exam!"

 

Jess smiled as went off. She had thought of applying for the internship previously, but a mixture of self-doubt and logistics kept her from filling out the application. "Ah, screw it." She said to herself. She walked to her car- a 2015 Hyundai Tuscon -and threw the duffle bags in the back. She decided she was going to drive to the nearest coffee shop and fill out the application. "Whats the worst thing that could happen?" Jess asked herself as she pulled out, ready to take the world by storm.  

 

* * *

  **Jessica's Hotel**

**10:14 AM, Friday, May 23**

* * *

 

Jessica paced as her phone rang on the other end. She stopped when it went silent. "Mark, hey." She started. "So, I got the internship."

 

It had only taken her a couple of hours to fill out the application and the DA's office contacted her the next day wanting an interview. The interview was quick. She was asked a couple of questions about her studies at Fordham and a few questions about her goals for the internship and life in general. Jessica simply told the truth and was essentially hired on the spot.

 

"Hey! Congrats! I'd, uh, invite you to get coffee, but I'm actually at the airport." He said happily.

 

"Already headed out of town?"

 

"Yep, but I've already notified my landlord that you'd be staying and left you the key with the doorman."

 

Jess was confused and surprised. "How?"

 

"I knew you'd get the internship," Mark told her matter-of-factly. "Look, I've gotta go. I'm about to board. You remember where the apartment is, right?"

 

"Yeah," Jessica replied, both shocked and flattered.

 

"Cool, so when you get there, show the doorman your ID. He'll give you the key and _mi casa_ will be  _su casa_ _._ "

 

Jess winced. "You never sound more white than when you're attempting to speak Spanish." She heard him chuckle on the other end. "But thank you, Mark, I owe you." She hung up the phone and took a deep breath. She had a lot to do before her first day Monday, first of which was to get herself moved into her apartment for the summer.

 

* * *

**Mark's Apartment**

**12:30 AM, Friday, May 23**

* * *

Jessica pulled into the parking spot labeled 7B at the apartment building, her new parking spot. She had checked out of her hotel room an hour earlier as she saw no reason to hold off moving into Mark's--her--new apartment. She went to the trunk and grabbed her duffles, which held everything she had in her dorm room at Fordham. She made her way to the front of the building and quickly found the doorman that Mark had told her about. 

 

"You must be Jessica." He said with a smile. He was your stereotypical Manhattan doorman. He wore a suit and looked friendly, but not too friendly. "I'm your doorman, Chuck. Mark told me you'd be coming."

 

"Hi. Yeah, he said you had the key to give me. Here let me get out my ID." Jess put down her right duffle and put her hand in her back jean pocket. She pulled out a simple leather wallet and flipped it open for him to see.

 

He looked at it and back at her quickly. "Great!" He exclaimed. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a ring of keys and handed it to her. Jess grabbed it awkwardly while still holding her wallet with the same hand. "Here you are. The apartments on the 7th floor, 7B."

 

"Thanks" Jessica smiled at him. She shoved the keys and her wallet back into her pocket, then picked up her other duffle. The doorman opened the door for her into the apartment building.

 

The lobby was simple and small. A set of mailboxes were built into the wall, each labeled with a different apartment. There was no elevator, which made Jessica chuckle slightly. "The landlord could afford to have a doorman but not put in an elevator. He's got his priorities in order." She said sarcastically under her breath.

 

She had only been to the building once before the school year prior when Mark had invited her to study for midterms. For him, studying for midterms meant a makeout session. Jessica nearly screamed when he tried to kiss her and left in a hurry. She was naïve and innocent and had in no way seen that coming. Mark apologized profusely claiming he had misread the signs and Jess forgave him. That day was enough to make her remember the building enough to get there, but not enough to remember that it didn't have an elevator. She sighed and looked up the stairs, physically and emotionally preparing herself to climb seven flights of stairs. It took a few minutes but she finally reached the seventh floor. She pulled out the set of keys and assumed the biggest key of the three on the chain was the door key. She was right and stepped inside once she unlocked the door.

 

It was a simple studio apartment, probably less than 400 square feet. There was a small kitchen with the basic appliances, a twin sized bed in the far corner, a bathroom jutting out from the wall in a room hardly big enough to hold a toilet and a shower. There was only one sink which was in the kitchen. It was a small college apartment with no defining features that it was Mark's, except for a couple pictures of him and his family. Jess threw her duffles down by the bed and began unpacking. She didn't have a lot of personal decorations, as she tended to let her roommates decorate. Mark's bedding remained on the bed, a navy quilt with white sheets. She decided to leave his sheets as hers hadn't been washed for quite a while and his smelled fresh. Jess then began unpacking her wardrobe, which consisted of mainly jeans and t-shirts, with the occasional formal 3 piece suits thrown in. She loved mens' style clothes and how she looked on them. It was the perfect balance between femininity and power. 

 

She couldn't wait for the first Monday of June. The first day of her internship. She was excited to start her internship and ready to see what her life would be like for the next three months. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica's first day as an intern is more than she bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intend on updating every week on Sunday, but we'll see how that goes. **More notes at end of chapter**

* * *

**DA's Office**

**1 Hogan Place**

**7:30 AM, Monday, June 2**

* * *

 

 

Jessica pulled into a parking space at the DA's office fifteen minutes earlier than she needed to be there. She could feel her heart pounding as she turned off the car. _"Deep breaths, in and out,"_ she told herself. _"You can do this. You've been looking forward to this for weeks. You're going to go in there and blow their socks off." She paused. "Just don't talk to yourself out loud while you're in there. You do that and it's weird."_ She chuckled to herself at her own remarks. She had a knack for talking to herself much more often that she should, and usually, aloud. 

 

The sound of a car engine made her look out her side window. A cab had just pulled up. Within seconds a girl stepped out of it wearing a gray blazer and matching skirt. _"Another intern,"_  She assumed.

 

Shortly after, another car pulled up. Jess noted her to be wearing an outfit similar to the girl before, in a skirt and blazer. Jess began to panic. She was dressed nicely, but her nice, which included black slacks and a matching waistcoat vest over a white button-down. She had brought a blazer and tie just in case she needed to dress it up, but it never occurred to her to wear a skirt. She wondered if she should have, but brushed it off. Grabbing her blazer from the passenger seat, she opened the door of her car and got out. She headed to the front door and slipped on the blazer.

 

_"Conference room B,"_ Jess reminded herself as she entered the building. It was easy enough to find after she consulted a small directory on the wall. Inside the conference room were other men and women around Jessica's age sitting around the table chatting with each other. She saw an open seat next to a mousy looking girl who's face was buried in a book. She made her way over to it, not paying any attention to the conversations going on around her.

 

"Is there anyone sitting here?" Jess asked the girl.

 

"Nope," she replied, not looking away from her book.

 

Jess sat down next to her. "What are you reading?" 

 

Rather than responding the girl simply turned her book so Jess could see the cover.

 

" _Summaries of Leading Cases on the Constitution_ ," Jess read aloud. "Schoolwork?"

 

"No, just some light reading." She responded in almost a whisper. "I-"

 

Before the girl could finish what she was saying, someone had loudly requested the room's attention. Jess jumped at the booming voice, wondering when the owner of the voice had come in.

 

"I'm the incumbent District Attorney of Manhattan, Cy Vance." Jess found the man at the front of the conference room at the head of the table. "If you're here, you must be our new interns. Each of you has been assigned to an ADA based on your interview. You'll be expected in their office by 8:00, so be sure to hurry once you've received your assignment. I'll be having my secretary, Mr. Butler, read them off for you. Good luck to all of you." He said, and exited the conference room quickly. Jessica wondered to herself what the point of him coming was when he was just going to have his secretary take over, although being welcomed by the District Attorney himself was pretty cool.

 

A man, probably in his early thirties moved to stand where the DA had stood before him. He held a clipboard in his hands. He began reading off interns names and the DA they were assigned to. Jessica noticed once he reached the 3rd name that the ADA's were being assigned alphabetically to the interns. It didn't seem like a coincidence to her, just that the DA didn't mean what he said about being assigned 'based on your interview'. "Davison, you'll be with ADA Rafael Barba, 3rd floor."

 

 

* * *

**Office of**

**ADA Rafael Barba**

**1 Hogan Place**

**7:53 AM, Monday, June 2**

* * *

 

 

"Come in," She heard from the other side of the door. Jessica took a deep breath then opened the door and stepped into the elegant office. To her right was a set of chairs in front of a desk, where the ADA sat.  "You must be the new intern," He said plainly and gestured to the chairs. "Sit. I'm Rafael Barba, and you are?"

 

Jessica moved towards the desk and held out her hand. "Jessica Davison, pleasure to meet your counselor." She noticed his eyebrows raise slightly at her response, though he took her hand and shook it. Jessica sat down, not breaking eye contact with him. 

 

"Tell me about yourself, Ms. Davison." 

 

Jessica hated when people said that. She never knew how much to tell. "I'm from a small town outside of Nashville. I recently finished my third year of undergrad at Fordham. I want to be an ADA someday and eventually a judge."

 

"Why law?" 

 

Jessica swallowed. "Well, when I was in high school I wanted to be a detective. I wanted to catch criminals and get them put away, but when I was entering my senior year I developed a chronic illness. I found I'd have to spend the rest of my life in varying degrees of pain depending on how bad it got. I tire quickly from exercise so I couldn't exactly meet the NYPD fitness standards with my condition, but I realized that even though I can't be catching criminals, I can at least be putting them away. Law wasn't what I had in mind before, but when I started studying it, I fell in love with it. I just want to help people." 

 

Barba didn't respond right away. "I'm going to warn you ahead of time, this internship won't be easy. I work primarily with the Special Victims Unit in Sex Crimes here." Jessica's heart skipped a beat. "It's long hours, complicated cases with strong defenses, and no matter how much you think you've seen, something will come along that shocks you. You'll do mainly paperwork and filing, along with anything else I need you to do. Can you handle that?"

 

"Yes, sir," Jessica told him, sounding more confident than she actually was. _"Fake it 'til you make it,"_ she reminded herself.

 

"Do you have any--hold on," He pulled out his cell phone and answered. "Barba,"

 

Jessica could hear noise on the other end but nothing more.

 

"I'll be down soon, just make sure he doesn't request counsel," Barba told the person on the other end of the phone before hanging up. "A key witness in one of my cases decided to admit to raping the defendant." He explained to Jessica. "Today was supposed to be the day I got you started with paperwork, but this looks like it's going to take awhile. The precinct's about three blocks away, can you walk that far?”

 

It hadn't occurred to her that he was going to take her with him to the precinct. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

 

"Alright, let's get going."

 

The two walked out of the DA's office in silence, though thousands of ideas of what to say flew through Jessica's head. She hated silence. She hated the awkwardness between her and this man she would be spending time with for the next few months. She was dying to ask him about himself, about his work, about SVU; however something stopped her from opening her mouth.

 

He walked only slightly in front of her as they made their way down the Hogan Place sidewalk.

 

“I’ve never spent much time in this area of the city. It’s nice. People actually are moving out of the way enough so I don’t hit them.” Jess stated. “Over in the Bronx I’m more of a battering ram than anything.”

 

“That doesn’t surprise me,” He replied, almost lightly.

 

Jessica waited for him to continue talking, but he didn’t. The two walked in silence for a minute before Jessica spoke up again. “Is there anything I should know about SVU before we get there?”

 

“They’re understaffed and the acting CO just became a foster mom.”

 

“Wow. That’s intense.”

 

“Isn’t it?” It was more of a statement than a question. They walked for a few more minutes until Barba spoke again. “We’re almost at the precinct. Just stay by my side and don’t cause any trouble.”

 

Jessica smirked. “What makes you think I would?” She could’ve sworn he smirked, too.

 

A moment later they arrived at the precinct. She followed Barba through the door and to the elevator. _“Here we go,”_ Jess told herself. _“Just breathe. You’ve got this.”_ As the elevator opened, Jessica nearly choked on both nervousness and excitement. She followed closely next to Barba as he made his way into the room.

 

A woman noticed the two and began walking towards them. “Counselor, take your daughter to work day?” She smiled.

 

Barba smiled back at the woman and sighed, “You’re never going to live that down.” Jess looked at each of them, hoping for some explanation, but the ADA kept talking. “This is my intern, Jessica Davison. Ms. Davison, this is Sergeant Benson, the Acting Commanding Officer.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you, Sergeant.” Jess addressed her as they shook hands.

 

Benson redirected her attention to the assistant district attorney. “So Johnson came in about an hour ago crying and admitted to raping Bella.”

 

Barba sighed. “There’s security footage placing him at work during the time of the assault, did you address that with him?”

 

“Yes, but he still claims he did it and wants to speak with you.” Benson said as she began walking.

 

Barba walked next to the Sergeant while Jessica followed closely behind. “He’s confessing to _this_ rape, the one that happened last week?”

 

“Yes, that’s I called you.” She replied.

 

“His credibility is completely shot. He hasn’t mentioned counsel, has he?” Jessica noticed that Barba was clearly agitated. 

 

“No, he’s cooperating but he’s hysterical.” Benson told him as they reached the door to the interrogation room.

 

“Are you filming right now?” He asked.

 

“Everything’s been filmed since he got here.”

 

“Good, if this turns out to be something, I don’t want any mistakes.” The ADA turned to Jess. “It would be best if you waited here.”

 

“Yes sir,” Jessica stated, slightly relieved that she didn’t have to be in the interrogation room, but she was also nervous to be left to her own devices.

 

Sergeant Benson smiled at the intern. “Jessica, let’s get a cup of coffee while Mr. Barba works.” He gave them a curt nod and entered the interrogation room, leaving the two women.

 

“Let’s get some coffee and then we can sit in my office,” She said and began leading Jessica. “How long have you been Barba’s intern?”

 

“Almost a half hour,” Jessica laughed, a little nervous. “He had just started telling me about what I’d be doing for him when you called.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry to be crashing your first day, although we tend to keep Barba busy here.”

 

“That’s alright. The way he described it, I won’t be doing much with y’all, more just office duties, so I’m actually happy I get to be here today. I had wanted to be a detective before I decided to go down the law path.” Jessica told her. She couldn’t explain it but there was something about the sergeant that made her feel at ease talking to her.

 

They reached the break room in the back. Benson began to pour a cup for herself. “I think you’ll find that you’ll be spending more time here than he’s leading you to believe. In the years I’ve known him, he hasn’t had an intern.”

 

“Why not?” Jessica asked, grabbing herself a cup.

 

“He has his assistant Carmen for everything in the office, but he prefers to do the legal work on his own.”

 

Jess’s head filled with questions such as “Then why get an intern?” but thought it pointless to ask the woman. She took a sip of black coffee, allowing the warmth to fill her. She wasn’t a fan of black coffee but didn’t want to seem rude by not having any. The two then began towards the captain’s office.

 

“Where are you in school?” Benson asked.

 

Jessica smiled proudly. “Fordham, class of 2015.”

 

“Have you taken the LSAT yet?”

 

“No, I’m taking it in a week, actually, next Monday. I’ve been spending most of my time studying and took a prep course. My projected score is a 165 so it’s looking good if I want to stay at Fordham.”

 

“Well, good luck.”

 

“Thank you,” Jessica said as she entered the office. “You. uh, you mentioned that you’ve known Barba for a couple years. Is there anything I should know about him? I don’t want him to do anything that could get me on his bad side.”

 

“Since you’ll be with him most of the time, don’t let him understate you.”

 

Jessica blushed. “Thank you, Sergeant Benson.”

 

At that moment, a door Jessica hadn’t noticed in the office opened and a tall man in a leather jacket stepped through then closed the door behind him.

 

“Anything, Fin?” Olivia asked him.

 

“The guy’s had a complete mental break. Barba keeps trying to get anything useful, you know, lawyer to lawyer.” Fin told her. He noticed Jessica and looked at Olivia.

 

“Detective Tutuola, this is Ms. Davison, Barba’s new intern.” She introduced. Jessica walked up to him and shook his hand.

 

“Nice to meet you,” He told her, then looked back at Benson. “You should hear what’s going on in there.”

 

The sergeant nodded and walked over to a window covered with shutters. She pulled them up, revealing the interrogation room. The man, who Jessica assumed to be “Johnson” was pacing rapidly while Barba stood at the table with some folders open. There was a blonde woman in the room too, keeping a sharp eye on Johnson. Benson flipped a switch and suddenly the office filled with sound.

 

“We have video camera footage of you at your office at the time of the attack . Can you explain this to us?” The blonde asked.

 

“I DON’T KNOW!” Johnson yelled and fell to the floor. He continued to try to talk but no coherent words were heard, only sobs.

 

“Did you have an assistant edit the footage?” Barba asked.

 

The man nodded while sobbing.

 

“And you are confessing to the rape of Bella Nelson?” Barba continued.

 

The man stood up, still crying, and started to retreat towards the back wall. “I did it, I did it, I did it.” He kept repeating.

 

Barba looked at the blonde and she nodded at him.

 

“Then we’re going to place you under arrest.” She said.

 

Suddenly the man yelled and began hitting his head against the concrete wall. In that moment, Benson and Tutuola instantly headed into the room through the door. Jessica followed without hesitation, trying to process what had happened. She stopped in front of the doorway of the interrogation room, staring at the man. The blood coating his face was the last thing Jess saw before everything went black.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on crafting this fanfiction more like an episode of SVU as time goes on, that including starting a scene in the middle of a conversation at the important details and skipping the transportation details. We'll see how this goes and if it works, yay! if not, I'll switch it up again. 
> 
> My goal is to update every Sunday for now. Writing this fanfiction is hard and it has required a lot of research in both law and the show in general. I've been taking notes on how the characters speak/act and events in general. I have an actual attorney on retainer to make sure I get legal details somewhat right. As this fiction requires a lot of time, not all of my updates will be on time and I apologize for that. Once I get used to writing these characters and begin to get ahead of my schedule, I hope to update more often.
> 
> My research has shown, most logically, that the fictional 16th precinct is located where the actual 5th Precinct is, so I will be using that knowledge for the writing. 
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading! Please comment and leave kudos (it keeps me motivated) and constructive criticism is always welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica continues her first day of interning at the DA's office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah! If all goes to plan, either tonight or tomorrow you can expect Chapter 4!

“Ms. Davison, are you okay?” Jessica was greeted with darkness as she stirred into consciousness. She couldn’t tell where the voice came from; It sounded distant and unrecognizable. She opened her eyes, light piercing through, blinding her.As her vision began to clear, she found herself looking up at ADA Barba and Sergeant Benson. “Can you hear me?”

 

 

Jessica blinked a few times, attempting to clear the remaining fog from her line of view. “What happened? I, uh…” The two were kneeling down next to her, looks of concern on both faces. 

 

 

“You fainted,” Barba told her. He turned his head slightly towards Benson. “She’s okay, you can go.” 

 

 

Benson seemed hesitant but stood up, “I’ll keep you updated,”

 

 

Barba nodded and looked back at Jess. “Can you see straight? Are you dizzy?”

 

 

“I’m fine,” Jessica told him as she started to sit up. Barba offered his hand to help her, which she took and adjusted herself so she could sit up straight. Her head pounded, however, she ignored the throbbing, the feeling wasn't entirely foreign. Jess looked past Barba and saw the interrogation room, the memory of the event coming to her. “That guy started ramming his head against the wall and then I went to the door and…all that blood.”

 

 

“I’m sorry you saw that. This shouldn’t have happened.” His voice was soft, though firm. 

 

 

She returned her vision to him, forcing herself to look away from the blood beginning to stain. His light green eyes contrasted from the dark of his hair, and Jessica couldn’t help but think it looked good on him. “I’m assuming this kind of thing doesn’t usually happen?” She laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood a tad. 

 

 

He smiled slightly at her in response. “No, it doesn’t.” 

 

 

“How long was I out?” 

 

 

“A couple seconds. You don’t need medical attention, but I can call if you want it.” Barba replied. 

 

 

“I’m alright.” She didn’t want to interrupt Barba’s day any further and it wasn’t the first time she had fainted.

 

 

“Can you stand?” He asked.

 

 

Jess nodded. “Yeah, I think so.” She held his hand a little tighter while he helped her up. Jessica’s pounded harder as she stood but she ignored it and let go of his hand. “Thank you. So what happens now?”

 

 

“Well, I need to sort through some paperwork and review the recording of his confession, if you can even call it that. This case is a disaster,” Barba told her. “And I need coffee.”

 

 

* * *

**Starbucks**

**241 Canal Street**

**9:05 AM, Monday, June 2**

* * *

 

 

 

The two sat at the bar next to the window with their respective coffee at the Chinatown Starbucks. Jessica had noted that he had his coffee with milk and two sugars. She had ordered a soy iced skinny mocha, not her usual but it was one of her favorites and she wanted something sweet. 

 

 

Barba opened his briefcase folder and pulled out two packets and handed them to Jess. “Read these and take notes if you need to.” He pulled out a legal pad and pen and handed it to her. “I need fresh eyes on this.”

 

 

“Oh, yeah, alright.” Jessica was surprised that he was bringing her in on the case. She started reading as Barba began to write something down on a legal pad of his own. The first document described the case. A 25-year-old woman, Bella Nelson, was found unconscious and naked at her apartment by her ex-boyfriend at 8:30 PM. He made the emergency call but was arrested. The ex-boyfriend ended up being on the sex offenders registry, therefore making him the main suspect.

 

 

The next document was filled with the hospital papers including the Rape Kit, photos of security footage from the law office, and a toxins screening showing the victim was highly intoxicated when she was found, presumably even more so when she was raped. It took about fifteen minutes for her to get through the documents. 

 

 

“This is…wow,” Jessica sighed, not being able to find the right word. 

 

 

“Let’s head back to my office,” Barba said, putting the documents back in his briefcase. “We can discuss this on the way.”

 

 

A minute later they left the Starbucks and began walking towards the office. “So the girl is found unconscious by her ex. I mean why would he call it in if he raped her? The security footage puts Johnson at the office all day after the victim came in. What if he raped her there?”

 

 

“Go on,” Barba had no emotion in his voice. 

 

 

Jess continued. “From the pictures you gave me, it shows the victim leaving about 45 minutes after she came in. What was the appointment for?”

 

 

“The lawyer claimed it was for an order of protection from her ex, but Bella can’t remember anything from that day,”

 

 

“Did anyone search his office for any DNA?” She asked, already knowing the answer from the file. 

 

 

“There no need once the boyfriend’s semen was found on her during the rape kit,”

 

 

“So, no.” Jessica said bluntly. “The paper said that they had sex the night before when she broke up with him, ‘break up sex’. What if he isn’t lying? The rape kit mentioned that along with vaginal trauma, she was also menstruating. If there's any menstrual blood found in his office that could tie him to the rape, couldn’t it?”

 

 

Barba gave her a long look, considering what she said. “I’ll get a warrant.”

 

 

* * *

**Office of**

**ADA Rafael Barba**

**1 Hogan Place**

**11:30 PM, Monday, June 2**

* * *

 

 

 

The second they had arrived at Barba’s office, he was on the phone trying to get the warrant. Jess set herself up at the table in his office at Barba’s request while he took care of a case he was preparing a witness for a trial tomorrow in the courtroom. Jess had spent the past couple hours reading through the case file, trying to figure out any loose ends and the possible defenses the lawyer could use if the blood of victim—Bella Nelson—is found in Johnson’s office. 

 

 

Jess looked up when she heard the ADA answer his phone. She had been so focused on the file that she hadn’t noticed him come in. “Thanks, tell me if anything changes.” He said before hanging up. “Johnson’s been stabilized and SVU searched his office and found some samples.”

 

 

“Has he gotten a lawyer yet?” Jess asked.

 

 

“His wife called one. What have you got for defense?"

 

 

“My first inclination is innocent by reason of temporary insanity, obviously, since he _confessed._ What are you thinking of charging him with?”

 

 

“Right now? Rape 3, but try to make a deal for sexual misconduct. If this goes to trial, he’ll be acquitted.” 

 

 

Jess sighed. “Is prosecuting this hard in other departments or just sex crimes?” 

 

 

“I wouldn't know,” He told her as he picked up a file and began to read it.

 

 

Jess returned to the case file as Barba went to his desk. She watched him take off his blazer out of the corner of her eye. She noticed he was wearing suspenders and smiled to herself. "Stylish," she thought, unsure if she was kidding or not. 

 

 

Jess read through the file multiple times, trying to find a way that Johnson could be charged with something higher than the misdemeanor that Barba was planning on settling to. As Jess tried to read through the file for the 7th time, thoughts kept flooding through her head, a conversation between her emotions and logic. 

 

 

_"What if it is the ex? There's much more evidence pointing towards him. What if I'm wasting SVU's time by having that idea about Johnson."_

 

 

_"Jess, chill. They clearly thought it was a good idea or they wouldn't have decided to go through with Barba's warrant."_

 

 

_"But what if--"_

 

 

_"Then look at this file again. Work on the prosecution for the ex-boyfriend if you're so unsure of yourself."_

 

 

"Ms. Davison," A different voice broke through the cloud in her head. Jessica jumped in her seat and whipped her head towards the noise. The ADA was looking at her from his desk. "You can take your lunch break now, just be back in an hour."

 

 

"Oh, thanks. I'll be back soon." She told him, closing the file and putting her notes in a pile. 

 

 

"One more thing, I need your cell phone number so I can get ahold of you when I need to." 

 

 

"Ah, yes, of course." Jess said as she walked towards his desk. He pulled out his cell phone in an instant and looked at her. 

 

 

"615-555-7838. It's a Tennessee area code," Jess explained, out of habit. People always gave her weird looks when she said her area code. 

 

 

Barba looked at her crossly. "The answer to a question I never asked,"

 

 

For a split second, Jessica froze. "Sorry, sir. I'll be back soon, then. Call me if you need anything, Mr. Barba." She quickly left the office, replaying the brief conversation in her head. 

 

 

_"He's probably stressed,"_ She told herself as she made her way out of the building.

 

 

_"That's no reason for him to snap at me like that. You let that go and he'll do it more often."_

 

 

_"Hell no. Southern Hospitality 101: you don't back talk your superiors.”_

 

 

_“I’m not in the south anymore,”_

 

 

_“It’s your first day, give it a rest. He probably didn’t mean anything by it. Go get some lunch and stop whining.”_

 

 

* * *

**The Breakroom**

**83 Baxter Street**

**1:10 PM, Monday, June 2**

* * *

 

 

 

Jess glanced out of the window she sat in front of as she took a bite of her burger. The mint lemonade and classic burger were a change from the usual latte and LSAT review book she had spent her lunch with for the past few weeks. Jess felt her phone vibrate and pulled it from her back pocket. The notification turned out to be a text from Mark. “ _Hope ur first day interning is going well, txt me soon.”_

 

 

She smiled and texted back a quick response. _“I had NO IDEA what I was getting into. We need to vid chat asap.”_

 

 

Seconds later she received a response. _“lol k, but when tho? I’m like 8 hours ahead of u.”_

 

 

Jess sighed. _“I forgot. Stop using text talk, though. It’s annoying and dated. Anyway, I’m on my lunch break. I’ve got about 15 minutes before I have to head back and i plan to spend it studying. unlike you, I'm not waiting until last minute to take the lsat.”_

 

 

After she sent the text she pulled up Quizlet and launched her LSAT flashcards. _“Exactly one week,_ ” She told herself. _“Then you’ll be done and you can stop stressing and focus on this internship.”_ After fifteen minutes she threw away her trash and headed out. _“I should get a scooter,”_ She muttered as she watched a kid go by on one. _“Better than walking,”_

 

 

A few minutes later she reached the room that entered into the ADA’s office. Jess noticed the door to his office was open and went in. Barba had his feet resting on the side of his desk as he watched something on his laptop. She gave him a quick tight smile as entered and made her way to the table. 

 

 

“Where are you on the notes?” He asked her. 

 

 

“I finished everything there is on Johnson, both if the DNA found is a match or not. Everything I could think of, at least.”

 

 

He nodded. “Good,” He looked back at the laptop and stood up. “I've watched this confession a dozen times. The defense is going to argue that it’s inadmissible.” 

 

 

“Can you fight it,”

 

 

“Right now? Not likely.” He breathed out heavily, almost like a nervous laugh, and looked at his watch. “And I’ve got to prep another witness in an hour.” He walked over to his small coffee station next to his desk and began preparing a cup. “How’s your head after this morning?” Barba asked, not looking at her. 

 

 

“It hurt for a while but it’s fine now. I’ve just never seen that much blood before.” She told him. “Mr. Barba,” He looked over at her. “Is this going to affect my internship here?”

 

 

“You’ll be seeing photos and videos with blood in them and as you saw today it can happen in person.”

 

 

Jessica bit her bottom lip and nodded. He hadn’t directly answered the question, but Jess got what he was saying. “I’ve seen graphic violence in movies and pictures, but it’s different when it’s in person.”

 

 

Barba picked up his coffee and took a sip. “It’s part of the job,”

 

 

“Speaking of the job, next Monday I’m going to need to leave here at about 11:30 for the LSAT.I’m sorry, I understand this is an inconvenience. I didn’t know I’d have this internship when I scheduled for the June test.”

 

 

“That’s fine. Where are you taking the test?” He asked. 

 

 

“NYU,”

 

 

“Are you prepared for it?"

 

 

“I’ve been studying every day for months, every spare moment I have, essentially. I really want a good score. Do you have any advice? I mean, you must’ve gotten a great score if you went to Harvard.” Jess nudged her head towards his framed degree on the wall. 

 

 

“Have you been taking prep tests?”

 

 

She nodded. “Once a week since February.”

 

 

He walked over to the table where the intern sat. “And your average?”

 

 

“165, give or take a couple of points.” 

 

 

“Take one every morning and every night for the next week,”

 

 

“Is that what you did?”

 

 

“It’ll get you a good score.”

 

 

Jess smiled at him. “Thank you,”

 

 

The edges of Barba’s mouth raise slightly, almost into a smile back. He pulled out his phone. “I should head to the courthouse. I need to prep my star witness for tomorrow. Stay here and take notes on the Nelson file about the ex-boyfriend. If you finish before I get back, study for the LSAT.”

 

 

“Yes sir,” She nodded. 

 

 

Barba left the office a couple moments after Jessica got to work on the file. After about two hours of taking notes on the ex-boyfriend, Alex Voinovich, Jess pulled out her phone to take a break. Her notifications consisted mainly of Instagram likes from the photo she had posted this morning, spam emails, and one unread text from _Mom_. 

 

 

“ _When will you be arriving? Is everything alright?”_ The text read. 

 

 

“Crap,” Jess muttered and began typing. _“Sorry, mom. I’m not coming down this summer. I got an internship at the DA’s office and forgot to tell you.”_

 

 

A minute later, Jess was on the phone with her mother. 

 

 

“Jessica Ann Davison, What on earth could make you forget to tell your own mother you were staying in New York?” Her shrill voice made Jessica lower the volume on her phone a notch.

 

 

Jess sighed. “I’m sorry, with all the studying I’ve been doing for the LSAT it just slipped through the cracks.”

 

 

“No, I understand. I’m just your last priority.”

 

 

She rolled her eyes, knowing how manipulative her mom could be. “Mom, you’re being ridiculous.”

 

 

“Where are you staying? I thought Fordham doesn’t allow you to stay over the summer.”

 

 

“They don’t,” Jess explained. I’m staying at a friend’s apartment.”

 

 

“What friend? Jessie, don’t tell me you’ve moved in with a boy.” Jess tensed when her mother called her that. 

 

 

“No! My friend Mark is studying abroad in Rome and I’m staying at his apartment so he could keep the lease for next semester. He’s not even making me pay rent.”

 

 

“What about food? What about living expenses? How do you expect to pay for that?”

 

 

“I’m getting a weekly stipend here. It’s not a lot but it’s enough to keep me on my feet.”

 

 

“I don’t want you living like one of those hood rats,” Her mom warned.

 

 

“Mom!”

 

 

“Where is this apartment?”

 

 

“It’s in Manhattan,” Jess told her.

 

 

“Manhattan? I thought you were in the Bronx.”

 

 

“Fordham’s in the Bronx. The apartment is in Manhattan, not too far from the Manhattan DA’s office, _where I am interning.”_ Jess added, hoping to get some sort of congratulations. 

 

 

“I think I should come up to visit you. I haven’t seen you since Christmas! It would be nice.”

 

 

Jess’s heart pounded as she tried to come up with an excuse. “Oh, I’m working full time for the DA and I’m never home. Especially with the LSAT coming up, this just isn't a good time. Besides, you hate New York.”

 

 

“Manhattan is so nice, though. You've got all the _respectable_ people in Manhattan.”

 

 

She grimaced, knowing where her mother was going with that statement. “You mean all the white people,”

 

 

“I mean the good hardworking people who don’t live off handouts. It’s not my fault if most of them are colored.”

 

 

Jess gritted her teeth. “I can’t believe I'm hearing this. Actually, no, I can believe it, because you’ve been like this all my life. This is why I left the south.”

 

 

“I’m just telling truth,”

 

 

“No, you’re being incredibly racist. This is why I hate coming home over the holidays. You’re always like this.”

 

 

“I should’ve known the city would turn you into a liberal. I warned your father but he thought it’d be good for you. You should’ve gone to Hillsdale or Liberty, or even one of those Mormon schools like your friend Mckenzie.” Her mother lectured. 

 

 

“Look, I’m at the office right now and I need to get back to work.”

 

 

“Fine, but you better be expecting a call from your father when I tell him this.”

 

 

Jess hung up the phone without saying goodbye, frustrated and annoyed. She shoved the phone into her pocket and sat down after taking off her blazer. She looked at the case file again, pushing aside her emotions. At that moment, reading about a rape was more pleasant than thinking about her family, and that was a tough feat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm looking for a beta reader! Preferably someone who is good at catching overlooked grammar errors and will help me make sure that what I've written makes sense word wise and is believable character wise! 
> 
> If you're interested, you can contact me over PM here or on my Tumblr: assumption-of-risk.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The finishings of the Johnson case. The LSAT comes along and Barba helps Jessica calm down and prepare for the test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah! I love writing Jess's memories, so enjoy this detailed chapter showing a softer side of Barba and Jess's past.

 

Barba returned from the courthouse a few minutes after Jess finished her phone call with a smug look on his face, the type of look that made Jess assume it went well. He assigned her another file to go through as he worked on his opening and closing arguments. Occasionally she would disconnect her focus from the case and instead watch Barba’s monologs. She wasn’t listening to the words he was speaking, but instead _how._ The way he emphasized certain words. The way his tone of voice changed, sometimes soft, sometimes loud, but with an ever-present confidence. _“He could’ve been an actor,”_ Jess thought. 

 

 

* * *

**Office of**

**ADA Rafael Barba**

**1 Hogan Place**

**11:20 PM, Friday, June 6**

* * *

 

 

 

The last couple of days interning went by much quicker than the first. Jess had gotten into a habit of taking a LSAT pre-test every morning and every night, per the advice of the ADA. While Barba spent the days in the courtroom, Jess spent them in his office, acting as more of a secretary than anything. “My assistant, Carmen, is on vacation.” He had told her. Jess didn’t mind, though. The work was different from schoolwork. She felt that even if she was just taking messages and organizing old files, the work she was doing mattered, despite being somewhat tedious. 

 

 

The day had been pretty slow administrative wise. Jess was almost finished sorting through the files Barba when he sauntered into the office in a heather grey blazer and waistcoat, all topped off with a subtly colored plaid tie. She made a mental note to see where she could get a tie like it. “I’m guessing the verdict was in the people’s favor?”

 

 

“12 years and on the registry for twenty after release,” He smirked, moving towards the small coffee maker. “Are you finished with the files?” Barba asked her as he put in a single serve cup. 

 

 

“Nearly,” She told him, glancing at the three large files resting on the floor, which was a major change from the dozens that were there when she started on Tuesday. 

 

 

Barba pulled out his phone and his expression hardened. “SVU got the results of the DNA from Johnson’s office. The blood and semen were matches.”

 

 

“Isn’t that good? Isn’t this where you move to indict?” Jess asked, confused by his expression as she stowed away the file in her hand. 

 

 

“Can’t indict a dead man. Johnson passed this morning from a stroke caused by the brain injury.” 

 

 

Jessica froze. “Oh,” She wasn’t sure how to react. Evidence showed that this man had raped a girl, but she couldn’t help but feel bad that he was dead. _”What about his wife? She must be heartbroken. Does he have kids?”_ She couldn’t help but wonder. 

 

 

The rest of the day was a blur for Jessica. Barba had pulled another set of files for her to sort through. The task went slower than it had the past couple of days. She couldn’t stop thinking about the dead man and the life he left behind. _“He couldn't have been all bad,”_ she kept thinking. _“No one can be entirely evil, right?”_

 

 

 

* * *

**Office of**

**ADA Rafael Barba**

**1 Hogan Place**

**8:37 AM, Monday, June 9**

* * *

 

 

 

Jess entered the office carrying a large travel mug of coffee in one hand and a LSAT tip book in the other. Barba watched as she plopped herself down at the table, taking a large sip from the cup. Rather than the normal blazer and pants she wore, today she wore an oversized sweater and black leggings. Normally she cared about looking nice for her internship, but today? Today Jessica had a much larger thing weighing on her mind.

 

 

_She had woken at 5 AM sobbing and horrified, the nightmare of getting a bad score on the LSAT flew through her mind. From there she refused to go back to sleep and started studying, taking two prep tests that morning, but being to scared to look at the score. She had completely forgotten about work until her standard morning alarm went off. Jess didn’t bother changing out of the outfit she wore as she studied yesterday, her day off. The most she did to her appearance was shove her unwashed hair into a quick bun. She made herself a seventh cup of coffee and headed out the door, grabbing her prep-book before hand. The drive to the DA’s office had been nothing but a disaster. Jess almost rear-ended a dozen cars and barely made it to the office without a ticket._

 

 

Jess shook as she put her head in her hands, trying to keep herself from crying, trying to calm herself down just enough to apologize for being late. She nearly fell out of her seat when she heard her name being said, startled by the sound.

 

 

She lifted her head slightly, her eyes blinking rapidly. Barba stood next to her and looked her in the eyes. “Davison, are you okay?” Jessica started crying before she could respond coherently. She put her head back down on the table, desperate to stop crying, for her head to stop pounding, and to stop shaking.

 

“I need you to be completely honest with me,” Barba began, sternly. “Have you taken any drugs?”

 

 

Jess attempted to shake her head. “N-no,” She was able to get out between sobs. 

 

 

Barba didn't say anything for a moment. “How much coffee have you had this morning?” 

 

 

“S-s-six cups?” She raised her head, forcing herself to stop crying.

 

 

“Dios mio,” Barba muttered. “You need to be drinking water, gallons of it.” 

 

 

He walked over to the coffee station opened the mini fridge under it, which Jess had never noticed. He pulled out a bottle of water, opened it, and handed it to Jess. “Drink,” Jess shakily took the bottle in her hand, trying not to spill it, and took a few sips. The clear taste of the water began to drain her taste buds of the bitter taste of coffee she had shoved down her throat all morning. “All of it.” He ordered. 

 

 

Jess did, drinking as quickly as she could without making herself feel more nauseated than she already was. As she drank, Barba pulled out three more bottles and put them on the table. “These, too. Have you had anything to eat?”

 

 

Jess shook her head, still drinking the water. She watched as Barba went to his desk and grabbed something and turned back towards her. He put two granola bars on the table along with a vitamin bottle of Magnesium. “This should help with the headache,” He told her, opening the pill bottle and taking two out. 

 

 

She brought down the water bottle from her lips and held out her free hand for Barba to hand her the magnesium. His warm hand brushed against hers as he dropped the pills in hers. Jess took them immediately and worked on finishing the bottle. He sat down in the chair next to her and pulled out his phone. 

 

 

“Thank you,” Jessica told him when she finished the bottle and traded it for a granola bar. 

 

 

Barba looked up at her, his face filled with concern. “I’ve had too much caffeine before, too.” 

 

 

“I’m sorry you’re seeing me like this. This has never happened before. I woke up early and started studying and I just couldn’t stop pouring cup after cup. This is incredibly unprofessional, I’m so sorry.” She took a bite. 

 

 

“You’re under a lot of stress,” 

 

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Barba.” She told him, lowering her head. 

 

 

“Eat. Drink.” He told her. “The sooner you do, the sooner you will start feeling better.”

 

 

Jess nodded and did as he told her. He sat next to her and did something Jess assumed to be work related on his phone, occasionally looking up to make sure she was making progress on the water. Soon Jess was making frequent trips to the bathroom. It wasn’t until a little past 10:00 did Jess start feeling somewhat normal. Barba had returned to his desk and Jess had moved to the couch. 

 

 

“You probably want a different intern now, don’t you?” She asked him, afraid of the answer. Although it had only been a week, she had enjoyed working with—for him. Though she hadn’t done much, she already felt like she was growing. 

 

He answered without looking up. “No,”Jess was taken aback by his answer. It certainly wasn’t what she expected. She had gotten used to him avoiding answering direct questions, usually responding with some sort of statement that got his point across without using _yes_ or _no._ “I want you to keep drinking.” He finished. 

 

 

* * *

**New York University**

**LSAT Testing Center**

**12:00 PM, Monday, June 9**

* * *

 

 

 

_“30 minutes,”_ She told herself, stepping out of the cab. While Jessica was doing much better, the ADA didn’t want her driving so he had called her a ride before she could object. The lobby of the building was filled with students around her age. Jess’s eyes dashed around the room as she went to the check in table, wondering if anyone she knew from Fordham was there. 

 

 

For Jess, the test came and went. Though she still felt sick from her morning caffeine binge, she worked diligently, though aware she wasn't in the best shape she could be. She had spent six hours in that testing room. Six hours would determine where she went to law school. She stumbled out of the testing room at about 6:10, ready to get home and go to sleep. She turned on her phone and requested an uber, which would arrive in about 10 minutes. 

 

 

She scrolled through her phone’s dozens of missed text messages. Most were from her friends at Fordham who had made a group chat for everyone taking the LSAT that day. She scrolled through the chat quickly, noticing that her friends had already started making memes of the questions. Jess didn’t bother to make any additions, she was too tired to even think of the test anymore. There was a text from Mark reading, _“good luck, u nerd”_ which Jess quickly sent back _“thanks!”_ and hoped he was asleep right then, not being in the mood to carry a conversation. The last unread text was from an unknown number, received just a couple moments after she had been required to turn off her phone. She opened the message and smiled at its contents. _“You’ll be fine. -ADA Barba”_

 

 

Now, Jess had to do the hard part: waiting 3 weeks for the score. A tinge of panic settled in her mind, which Jess quickly worked to push away. _“Panicking doesn’t help,”_ She told herself under her breath, remembering the last time she had over-stressed over a test score. 

 

 

_Jess stepped out of the theater of her high school and into the hallway. She darted down the hall and into the girls' bathroom. She rushed into the far stall, slamming the door and locking it quickly. She leaned against the cold tile wall, shivering slightly at the change in temperature. She rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath, desperate to calm down._

 

 

_“What if I failed? I totally failed.” She said, hyperventilating. “I got a horrible score, I just know it. I’m going to be stuck in this freaking dead end town for the rest of my life and I’m going to have to go to community college—or not even go to college—-“ She fell to the ground of the stall, sobbing harder than before._

 

 

_Scores were released in April, though she refused to look. “I haven’t looked, I don’t need to,” She had told her friends when they asked what she got, “I just know I failed.” Jess had fallen into a severe depression that summer, enough for her parents to start seeking medical help for her, denying on all counts that it was psychological._

 

 

_“She’s in pain. She’s exhausted. She doesn’t even try anymore.” Her mother had told the doctor. That July she was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and depression, which her doctor concluded was brought on by the emotional stress she was suffering from due to the SAT._

 

 

_“Most likely, her life will never be the same as it was. The pain can be managed with certain exercises and there are medications that can be tried, but overall it's something she’ll just learn to live with. Moderation will be her best friend.” The doctor had told the family._

 

 

_When her parents had sat her down to explain the condition to her, feeling they could comfort her more than a doctor could, she felt emotionally numb through all of it. They told her that while the pain would be everlasting, there were ways to deal with it. When they told Jess thatdue to the physical applications of police work, she would never be able to be a detective, Jess told them to simply “Go fuck yourselves,” for the first time in her life and retired to her room to mourn the life she had lost before it even began._

 

 

_Finally, in early August, one of her friends had convinced her to finally check her score. “1850,” Jess whispered in shock. “I still have a chance at getting out of this town.”_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica gets an early morning wake-up call from Barba telling her to get to the Precinct.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start updating every other Sunday until I am ahead of my posting schedule. School has started again and I have less time to write. 
> 
>  
> 
> I will be posting occasional Barba x Reader one-shots on my Tumblr: inconspicuous-esparza.tumblr.com (where I also take one-shot requests for Raúl characters) along with here on ao3 in a collection.

For the next couple of weeks after the caffeine incident and the LSAT, Barba had remanded Jessica to the office. Mainly, she did basic filing and drafted memos for the ADA. She hadn't been back at the 16 th precinct since her first day, despite asking to go with Barba whenever he got a call. Determining possible defenses for cases was fun, but she would rather have been with Barba interviewing witnesses and being in the courtroom. The days Jess lived for were the days that SVU detectives came to Barba’s office with case details. She would greet the detectives, then let Barba do his thing while she pretended to work, all the while listening intently to what they discussed.

 

 

Despite putting her on the sidelines, she could tell Barba respected her. Jessica’s case notes were almost always spot on, only rarely missing a detail or two that seemed insignificant until more evidence was found. She was good at figuring out what the defense would do next and even better at finding dirt on “experts” the defense planned to call.

 

 

The hardest part of the job was getting used to the ADA. His ever-present sass that at firstoffended Jess was now something she took in her stride, and some days she would shoot it right back at him. Jessica looked forward to seeing what he would wear every day. She loved his waistcoats and choice of ties and suspenders. Her favorite look of his was usually after a day in the office where his hair would be starting to fight the gel locking it in place, paired with him in a waistcoat and dress shirt, the sleeves usually rolled up, and his blazer discarded somewhere in the room. Rafael Barba was so often dressed to the nines that Jessica relished in the moments he dressed himself down.

 

 

He was a smart man and wasn't afraid to show it. He was always self assured and strong, a stark opposite from Jess. She was smart, yes, though she didn’t like to show it off. However she constantly second guessed herself, even more so since the internship started, despite rarely messing up. She loved to see him in action. In a text to Mark, she had said about her boss -   
_“He makes the most boring statements sound poetic and his energy is comparable to a spark setting off an endless trail of kerosene.”_  
To which her friend simply replied - “ _brb gotta go throw up.”  
_ Though Jess hadn’t yet gotten to shadow him in the courtroom, she had seen him prep a witness in his office with both his own questions and prospective questions the defense might ask.

 

 

* * *

**Mark’s Apartment**

**3:12 AM, Saturday, July 5**

* * *

 

 

 

Jess groaned as she opened her eyes, reaching towards the bedside table to grab her phone, which was screaming with a ring. She winced as the brightness of the screen attempted to blind her while she attempted to read the contact name of the incoming call. _ADA Barba_ , it read. Tired and confused, she answered “Uh, hello?” rather than with her name.

 

 

“I need you at the Precinct as soon as possible,”  the ADA ordered.

 

 

“Wait, what? Barba…it’s like… 3 AM, what-what’s going on?”  Jess asked, hardly conscious.

 

 

“Meet me at the 16th Precinct as soon as possible. I’ve got a case.”  He told her.

 

 

Jess whined softly and threw her head back into the pillow.  “I’ll call a cab,”  She muttered, but he had already hung up. Jess groaned once more before reaching over to turn on her bedside lamp. She threw the covers off and shivered at the cold of the apartment, quickly launching uber and requesting a car. Jess grabbed the outfit she had left out for the morning and quickly changed into it, not bothering to make sure all the buttons were buttoned on her shirt and slipped a navy waistcoat over it, which she didn’t button at all. She threw on a pair of matching trousers and grabbed her messenger bag, which kept her work stuff, on the way out.

 

 

Fifteen minutes later, she was entering the 16th precinct, still tired and ready to drink a gallon of coffee. She noticed Barba with the detectives talking by a whiteboard and walked over to them. Everyone looked much like Jess did, disheveled and tired. A coffee pot sat on the table in front of them, which Jessica immediately used to pour herself a cup before greeting anyone. She took a sip then zoned in on the conversation, which hadn’t stopped when she came in.

 

 

“Another Fourth of July rape. We should just stay open all night next year.”  Detective Rollins said. Jess had met her a couple of times when she brought Barba details at the office.

 

 

Detective Tutuola—or Fin as he told Jess to call him—nodded.  “Yeah, it’s the same deal every year. A girl goes to a party, gets drunk and a guy takes advantage of her.”

 

 

“Even so, it’s still a rape”, Detective Benson stated bluntly, staring down the squad, “Rollins, go to the hospital to check on the vic. Fin, go to the club and see if anyone saw anything.”

 

 

The two left without another word, leaving Jess with Benson and Barba.  


 

 

“So what’d I miss?” Jess asked, already waking up from the taste of the coffee in her cup, which was already almost gone.

 

 

“A girl was raped and strangled in a nightclub bathroom an hour ago. Club owner found her and called us.” Detective Benson told her.  


 

 

Once she was caught up, Barba and Jess began to review the victim's statement, deciding to stay at the precinct to work for a while.

 

 

“So you're letting me get fully involved in a case now?” Jess asked him, not being able to stop herself.

 

 

“You’ve proven to be able to handle yourself these past couple of weeks.” He smiled at her, a genuine smile, not a sarcastic one or the _‘I’m going to win this case’_ smile. Jess’s heart skipped a beat and she beamed back at him. He paused for a second before a question came to his mind.“What did you score on the LSAT?”

 

 

“The results don’t come out until the 7th”, Jessica shrugged.

 

 

“Actually they were released Tuesday,” he replied, matter-of-factly.

 

 

Jess froze, “What?” She quickly pulled out her email and scrolled through, finally finding an unread email. She opened it and quickly read through. A moment later she finally spoke. “169, oh my gosh! I was so afraid of doing horribly, but wow!” She looked up at Barba. “I couldn't have done it without you that morning. Thank you so much!”

 

 

After about an hour, the ADA sent Jess home to get some sleep and clean up while he had to review another case and prepare for a meeting he had with another ADA in a couple hours. Jess took a nap per Barba’s request, and found that even with the caffeine in her system she could fall asleep.

 

 

An hour and a half later, she rolled out of bed for the second time that day and headed to the shower. The hot water cascaded onto her, soaking her soft brown hair. With her illness, sometimes showers would hurt due to the mix of temperature and pressure from the water, but today it felt pleasant. Jess relished in the days like today, where her Fibromyalgia symptoms were almost unnoticeable. The low pain, low sensitivity touch, and high energy made her feel like Superman, but she knew she had to be careful. As she washed herself, she made a mental note to pace herself today. These types of days were when she tended to overdo-it and that led to consecutive days of her symptoms at full blow, sometimes leaving her bedridden. However, Jess had gotten good at pain management and conserving energy, especially since she started work at the DA’s office. Her mind drifted to the ADA. She was grateful that Barba understood that her illness limited her and he worked with that, while at the same time, pushed her limits. He reminded her of her old physical therapist, Seth, who had become a close friend during her time there. He had the same—though not as much—sass as Barba, but unlike the ADA, Seth got to see Jessica at the worst point in her life, a side she had vowed to never let anyone else see. She remembered the first time she had cried in front of Seth, the first time she had truly felt inadequate.

 

 

_Jess dropped the weight with a thud and put her head down, tears streaming down her face. Physical therapy had only started a week ago, but it was already kicking her ass._

 

 

_“Kiddo, what’s the matter?”, Seth asked, kneeling beside her._

 

 

_She sobbed, “I can’t do it. I keep trying and trying but it’s just so painful and I’m so tired.”_

 

 

_He tried comforting her. “I know it’s hard, but that’s why we’re here. Yeah, it’s painful. What’s your pain level right now, without the weight?”_

 

 

_She took a deep breath, “Around a 7,”_

 

 

_“Alright, and what’s your normal pain level?”_

 

 

_“A four or five”, she reported._

 

 

_He sighed. “Alright, so I know you don’t want to hear this, but can you do another couple of reps and tell me your pain level while you do them?”_

 

 

_Jess shook her head in her hands. “I can’t”_

 

 

_“Can’t or won’t?” he questioned._

 

 

_“Both,”she mumbled._

 

 

_Seth’s demeanor had changed slightly, becoming more stern than comforting.  
“That’s not an answer,”_

 

_“Won’t,”Jess answered, finally._

 

 

_“So you can, you are just choosing not to.”_

 

 

_“To avoid pain,” she defended._

 

 

_“To avoid pain?” the physical therapist emphasized her statement, stopping slightly after every word.“Why?”_

 

 

_Jess looked up at him with red, wet eyes and a look of confusion and irritation.“Are you really so stupid that you have to ask?”_

 

 

_He ignored her question.“Are you scared of pain?”_

 

 

_Jess almost laughed in annoyance.“I live in pain, how could I be scared of it?”_

 

 

_“You tell me,” Seth challenged._

 

 

_Her jaw tightened. “I’m not scared of pain. I just don’t want any more of it.”_

 

 

_“Even if the added pain will go away over time and even work to lessen the constant pain?”_

 

 

_Jess glared at him.“You don’t know that for sure,”_

 

 

_His demeanor remained calm but firm.“My job is to help you get stronger and manage your pain, but I can’t do that unless you participate. You live in constant pain and that’s not going to magically go away. The doctors have prescribed you medicine to help with the fatigue and pain, but the best way to manage it is with what we do here. I can help you manage your pain, but I can’t do that unless you let me help you.”_

 

 

_Jessica was moving from annoyed to aggravated.“You want me to help myself by putting me in more pain”_

 

 

_“You haven’t felt a ‘ten’ yet”_

 

 

_“What?”, Jess was confused as to what he meant._

 

 

_Seth stared at her.“You think you’ve felt the worst your pain can be? You're wrong.”_

 

 

_“What are you—-“_

 

 

_He interjected before Jess could finish her question.“Every time you think you’ve reached your 10, the worst it could ever get, you’ll find later that you were wrong. There’s always a worse pain to be felt, whether it comes from the Fibro, or a broken wrist, or a gunshot, there’s always another—a higher—ten to be experienced.”_

 

 

_“Why are you telling me this?” She nearly yelled through her tears. Jess understood what he was saying and it infuriated her that she knew it to be true. A year ago, her “ten” was breaking her foot after stepping into a pothole. Since her illness developed, her highest pain had grown almost weekly. Seth had been right earlier, she was scared of pain, but not just any pain, she was scared of reaching a new “ten”. Jessica didn’t know how much more pain she could take and she was in no hurry to find out._

 

 

_“Because doing the reps while the weights hurt, it’s not the worst you've ever felt, and it never will be. So why not push yourself to deal with a little extra pain?”_

 

 

_He wasn’t wrong. Lifting the weights was painful, but it was nowhere near her “ten”. Hell, her “nine” was nowhere near it. She sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes, though still fuming with anger and an unfounded sadness.“Fine, I’ll do it. On one condition, though.”_

 

 

_He raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”_

 

 

_Her anger—though not dislike—for Seth made any filter she had disintegrate.  
“You stop being such a dick when we’re working together,” she stated bluntly and paused, “And you get me one of those cups of water you offered when we started.”_

 

 

_He smiled at the girl, who could tell her anger amused him more than anything. “Done and done, kiddo.”_

 

 

_“Don’t call me that”, she scrunched her face._

 

 

_Seth smirked as he went to the water cooler and called over his shoulder, “Not a chance, kiddo.”_

 

 

Jess smiled at the memory. At the time, it had been a horrible experience, but now she was thankful that it had happened. Seth had given her a wakeup call that day, making her realize there would be more pain to experience. He was right too. Since that day, her “ten” had reached even higher levels, though it had remained at its current point for almost two years now. Seth had pushed her that day and continued to push her. There were days when she would break down and cry, and Seth would comfort her, but he would also make her push through it, never letting her quit. She was grateful for his persistence, knowing she wouldn’t be where she was today without him.

 

 

Jess sighed and picked up her body wash from the floor of the cramped shower. She used a glop of the gel to saturate her loofah and began to clean her body. Her mind drifted to the events of the morning: the wake-up call from the ADA, being brought in on a case, finding out her score on the LSAT. She remembered the look on his face when she had said her score. She had seen him make many faces and have many different reactions, but this wasn’t one she had seen before. It was pride, but not the type that he wore when he won a case; it was happiness for her accomplishment. She was ecstatic at her score, it was more than enough to get her to Fordham Law, coupled with her GPA and internship, there was the possibility of going to an Ivy League. However, she couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Barba’s face. The way his green eyes had crinkled so slightly was gorgeous, despite being paired with shots of red from his clear exhaustion. She loved looking at him, his outfits, his hair, his face, his hands especially. They were so long and elegant, the way they handled his papers while he was sorting through them, or the way he delicately held his coffee cup. Jess began to imagine what his hands would feel like. He didn’t seem like the type to have rough calloused hands, but he didn’t seem like the type to use moisturizer either. She wondered how his hands would feel if she were to hold them, or if they were to run down her body, or—

 

 

Jess dropped the loofah, suddenly tearing herself away from her thoughts. Her heart pounded in her chest and her body tingled as she began to scold herself. “Stop. You can NOT be having these thoughts. He. Is. Your. Boss! He could be married for all you know and he’s also like… 20 years older than you!”

 

  
She felt almost mortified for the track of her thoughts, but at the same time, her mind drifted back to his hands. Deciding she needed to cool down, she turned the water dial to the coldest she could handle and quickly finished her shower. She jumped out from the small tiled room, wanting to finish getting ready for work, and did her best to leave the intrusive thoughts behind her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess returns to the DA's office, ready for what this case has in store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed update, I've been in D.C. for a conference and the Inauguration (which gave me a ton of one-shot ideas as Barba without a doubt attended Obama's inauguration in 2005 and I'd bet dollars to donuts, but that's for another time), so I didn't have a lot of time to work on this story.
> 
> This chapter's about 300 words below my usual standard for myself, but there's a ton of dialogue.
> 
> Please comment, leave kudos, and bookmark! It keeps me motivated to stay on track. The next update should be on Feb 4! Meanwhile, if you miss my writing, I've been working on a few NSFW Barba one-shots in a collection here on ao3.

* * *

**Office of**

**ADA Rafael Barba**

**1 Hogan Place**

**9:20 AM, Saturday, July 5**

* * *

 

 

 

Jess entered Barba’s office carrying two large cups of coffee: one soy mocha for herself and a dark roast for the ADA. Barba sat at his desk and looked up, a pile of papers scattered throughout the top of it. His eyes scanned Jessica, settling at the coffees. “Planning to repeat your caffeine overdose?” He smirked. 

 

 

Jess bit back a smile. “Not unless you want one,” She told him as she placed the paper cup on a clear spot on his desk. 

 

 

Barba immediately reached for it and took a sip. As he did, Jessica could’ve sworn she saw his eyes light up. “You know my coffee order?”

 

 

“Known since day one,” She replied, taking a seat at the chair on the other side of his desk. “Two shots of cream—or milk if they’re out— and two sugars. When we went to Starbucks on my first day, you tried the cream container but it was out so you went for the 2%.”

 

 

To Jessica’s surprise, he chuckled in response. “I almost feel bad for not remembering your order.” 

 

 

Her heart skipped a beat as she took a sip of her drink, letting the hints of chocolate keep herself from getting distracted by his light demeanor. “Soy skinny mocha, iced with Splenda. I had wanted something sweet after, you know, passing out.” 

 

 

“What are you drinking now?” He questioned.

 

 

“Soy mocha, hot.” 

 

 

“Any Splenda?”

 

 

“Nope,”

 

 

“Temperature?”

 

 

“Am I on trial for my coffee order?” Jess laughed.

 

 

Barba smirked at her, “Maybe,”

 

 

Jess’s heart fluttered as she started into his green eyes. She took a deep breath and attempted to calm her heart rate. “May I ask you a question, Mr. Barba?” 

 

 

Jess took him raising his eyebrows to be a ‘yes’ and continued. “In the entire time I’ve interned for you, we’ve never actually had a non-work-related conversation and—“

 

 

“Your question is?”

 

 

“Who are you?” She laughed, exasperated. “All I really know about you is that you're a kickass coffee-addicted Prosecutor who went to Harvard.”

 

 

“What makes you think there's anything more to me?" 

 

 

Jess gave a long sigh. "Where are you from?"

 

 

“Here,” 

 

 

“Here being…Manhattan?”

 

 

“Here being New York,”

 

 

“That's all you’re going to tell me?” Jess rolled her eyes as the smirk returned. “We work together six days a week for at least eight hours per day and we’ve been working together for over a month, and yet, I know almost nothing about you and you barely know anything about me, too.”

 

 

“I know more about you than you think,” 

 

 

His response shook her. “Such as?”

 

 

“You ask a lot of questions,” Barba deflected.

 

 

“Should I not?”

 

 

A raised eyebrow partnered his smirk, “You tell me,” 

 

 

Jess grit her teeth as a twinge of annoyance shot through her body. The ADA was testing her and was loving every second of it, which bugged her more. “I think it’s important to know who I’m working with, now would you stop being an attorney for five seconds and act like human being?”

 

 

The ADA opened his mouth to answer right as his phone beeped. He grabbed it from his desk, biting his lip as he read the notification. “Not right now. I have a meeting.” 

 

 

"Can I come?" Jess quickly asked. 

 

 

He began typing something on his phone. “No,” He began, “But you can go down to the precinct and figure out something to do.”

 

 

“Really?” Jessica’s heart soared. There was no assignment, no expectations, just spending time at the Precinct. 

 

 

Barba nodded. “Get going. Don’t get in too much trouble.” He smirked at her, yet again. 

 

 

She smirked back as she stood from the chair and grabbed her coffee, her dark eyes meeting his. “The same to you, Mr. Barba.” Then, without hesitation, she exited the office with a spring in her step. 

 

 

* * *

**16th Precinct**

**9:48 AM, Saturday, July 5**

* * *

 

 

_“Deep breaths, in and out. You’ve met these people.”_ Jess told herself as the elevator landed on the floor of the Special Victims Unit.

 

 

She bit her lip. _“Yeah, but I’ve never had to interact with them for prolonged periods of time and I've never had to talk with them without being in Barba’s shadow.”_

 

 

Another deep breath. _“What about on your first day? You got to talk one-on-one with Sergeant Benson.”_

 

 

_“That was only for a couple minutes,”_

 

 

_“Just be yourself and you’ll be fine. You’ve got no expectations, nothing. You’re okay, I promise.”_ She confirmed to herself as the elevator doors opened. A fraction of her being wanted to retreat into the corner of the elevator, but a much larger part was desperate to interact with the detectives and experience the Special Victims Unit. 

 

 

With a last deep breath, she stepped into the room. Almost immediately, she heard her name. Startled, she turned towards the source of the noise. “Detective Rollins, hello!” Jess greeted, holding out her hand. 

 

 

The blonde detective returned the gesture with a firm handshake. Afterward, Rollins began leading Jessica to the other side of the room. “Barba texted me saying you’d be over. We’ve got a suspect on the Cranton case. When Fin went to the club to check on what CSU found, he got the security footage. The perp pulls her into the bathroom and—here, let me pull it up.”

 

 

The two had arrived at the whiteboard that laid out the details of the case from this morning. Jess read through it quickly to review and check for new information. “Wait, so you went to talk to the victim this morning, right?”

 

 

“Yeah, Samantha said she had met the perp at the bar, the two danced, starting making out. She said she needed to go to the bathroom, he followed her to the bathroom and that’s all she remembers.” Rollins told her as she pulled the security footage up onto the screen. 

 

 

_The video showed an empty hallway at first, though a few seconds later a woman entered the picture. As she went to go through a door—presumably the women’s bathroom—a man came up to her. He moved in front of the girl, making her back directly into the wall. The two appeared to be talking, though the woman’s face was blocked. Suddenly the man slapped her. She fought to get away from him, but he grabbed her and pushed her into the door of the bathroom. opening the door. He pushed her into the room as she tried to resist._

 

 

“10 minutes later,” Rollins noted as she fast-forwarded the video. 

 

 

_The perpetrator exited the bathroom while buckling his buckle. He looked around the hallway as he began to leave. Just before he turned the corner, he looked behind him, giving the camera an almost clear view of his face._

 

 

“Can you run the guys face through a facial recognition thing? Those exist outside of TV, right?”

 

 

Rollins almost smiled, “Yeah, it’s being done right now. The rest of the footage shows no one going in the bathroom until the club owner this morning.”

 

 

“What about the rape kit?”

 

 

“Vaginal trauma, condom lubricant, and bruising around the neck,” She informed. 

 

 

Jess furrowed her eyebrows, taken aback. “Around the neck?”

 

 

“The exam shows she was choked by something—a belt, most likely.”

 

 

Her eyebrows widened as she attempted to process the information she had just heard. Jessica opened her mouth intending to say something, but she closed it almost immediately, not knowing what to say. 

 

 

Detective Rollins continued, “The lack of oxygen would explain why she was unconscious.”

 

 

“So this guy…choked her…with a belt?” She said in an attempt to clarify. 

 

 

The blonde nodded in response. 

 

 

“Why?” 

 

 

“Pleasure; Control,” She listed. 

 

 

“How could someone…” Her voice trailed off. 

 

 

Rollins sighed, “It’s not uncommon in this unit,”

 

 

Jess pulled a chair from the table and sat down, “How can you talk about this so casually?”

 

 

“Years of experience,” She replied. 

 

 

“How is the girl? Does she remember being raped?” Jess questioned, concerned. 

 

 

“She’s okay, no lasting issues, but she doesn’t remember the assault.”

 

 

A question came to her mind, “How do you tell someone they were raped and they didn’t even know it?” 

 

 

“It depends on the person, but usually we inform them that we’d like to do a rape kit.”

 

 

“Wow, kind of makes me glad I’m not a detective.” 

 

 

“Wait until you start trying to prosecute these cases. Barba hasn’t lost a case since he hired you, has he?”

 

 

Jess gave a small smile. “He didn’t hire me, the D.A. did, but no, he hasn’t, at least not that I know of.”

 

 

“You’ll know when he loses one,”

 

 

“How?”

 

 

“He keeps a bottle of whiskey in his desk,” 

 

 

“How do you know this,” Jess began, “are you two a couple?”

 

 

At that, Rollins started laughing. “No, we’re not. He spends so much time working I don't think he ever goes home.”

 

 

Jess laughed simply because Rollins had. “He works very hard. I wish I could do more for him, but only being in pre-law there’s not a lot I can do. I really don’t know why the DA didn’t assign him a law student. Y’all work him to death and there’s really nothing I can do.” 

 

 

Rollins raised an eyebrow, “You’ve got an accent. Where are you from?”

 

 

“I grew up about an hour outside Nashville,” Jess listened to herself speak, hearing the country accent that had faded away over the past three years involuntarily come forward. She made a mental note to herself: _country inflections come forward when talking to someone who also has an accent._ “What about you?”

 

 

“Loganville, Georgia,” She responded.

 

 

Jess smiled, “You’ve retained an accent longer than I have,”

 

 

“I’ve never tried to hide it,”

 

 

She bit her lip, slightly surprised at Rollins’s assumption. “I don’t,” 

 

 

“Sure,” 

 

 

Jess could feel the sarcasm flooding from the detective’s statement. “I’ve got no reason to,”

 

 

“Of course,” 

 

 

“Look, Detective, I’m—Sergeant Benson, Fin, good morning!” Jessica sighed in relief at their perfect timing. 

 

 

“Davison, you're back,” Benson noticed. 

 

 

“Barba sent you to keep an eye on us, didn’t he?” Fin asked. 

 

 

Jessica smiled at him. Of the SVU trio, he was her favorite because he didn’t seem like a cop. “He wants someone to charge. Do you have anything?”

 

 

“Yes, actually, a name: Lawerence Fisher,” Benson told her. 

 

 

Rollins opened her laptop again and began typing. “Found his Facebook,” She said. “He works at a creperie in Brooklyn.”

 

 

“Alright, Fin, Rollins, go and take him into custody.” The Sergeant ordered. 

 

 

“Have fun,” Jess told Fin as she watched Rollins grab her jacket. The two detectives headed out of the precinct as she pulled out her phone to send Barba a text. 

 

 

“ _We’ve got a name: Lawrence Fisher. Benson just sent Fin and Rollins to take him in. Also, I just watched the security footage from the club. It’s a done deal. even with the victim having a hard time remembering what happened.”_

 

 

It only took a couple seconds before she received a text back. _“Good. Text me the second he gets processed. Get ready for arraignment court, it’ll be a long wait.”_


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arraignment Court and the meeting of an old friend and new.

* * *

**Arraignment Court**

**Part 12**

**9:20 AM, Monday, July 7**

* * *

****

  
****

“The People of the State of New York versus Lawerence Fisher: one count of rape in the first degree and one count of strangulation in the second degree.” Jess listened to the man read the docket summarizing the case. The arraignment courtroom was buzzing with lawyers and defendants, all waiting for their couple minutes with the judge. She stood next to ADA Barba, who was leaning against the lectern on the table.

  


 

“How does the defendant plead?” The Judge asked.

  


  


“Not guilty, your Honor.”

  


  


The judge nodded, “Remand, Mr. Barba?”

  


  


“$45,000. There’s a substantial amount of evidence against Fisher, enough for incentive to flee.” 

  


  


“Mr Barba’s evidence includes a so-called ‘victim’ who can’t remember her drunken hookup. Your Honor, Lawerence Fisher has significant ties to the community. He works at a creperie in Brooklyn and is directing a Vegan Pride Parade next weekend.” 

  


  


Jess had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing at how _hipster_ the statement was. It didn't help that both the defendant and his attorney looked almost exactly the same: white guys with dreadlocks and hipster glasses. She wasn’t unused to seeing hipsters since she had moved to the city, but Bronx hipsters were tame compared to those from Brooklyn. 

  


  


The ADA rolled his eyes at the defense, seeming more amused than annoyed at the argument. “The security footage from the club shows everything we need for a conviction,” Barba began but was cut off before he could finish.

  


  


“Save it, Mr Barba. Bail is set at 35,000. We’ll reconvene at 9:00 AM next Monday for trial,” Judge Barth—according to the placard—banged her gavel. 

  


  


The defense attorney turned towards Barba. “My client is willing to make a deal,”

  


  


He gave him a look, “Your client raped and strangled a woman then left her for dead. The jury takes one look at the video and they’ll convict.”

  


  


“We’ll take Rape 2 and Criminal Obstruction of Breathing,” 

  


  


“No,” Barba responded curtly to the attorney before turning to his intern. “Let’s go, Davison.”

  


  


Jess followed closely next to him as they left the busy courtroom. “You really think the video is enough for the jury?”

  


  


“That, plus the rape kit; the jury will be out within seconds.” 

  


 

“So what now?” She questioned.

  


  


“We make our case,”

  


  


The two reached the elevator. Jess went to push the button for Barba, who had pulled out his phone. Her hand reached the button, but never made contact with it, instead her hand had met Barba’s. His hand was so warm compared to how cold hers felt—It was comforting and she never wanted to lose the feeling. It took Jessica a couple seconds longer than it should’ve to realize that she still had her hand on his. “Sorry,” She laughed awkwardly as she pulled away. 

  


  


The elevator doors opened and the two stepped inside. Barba returned to whatever he was doing on his phone. Jessica decided to follow suit, pulling out her phone and taking it off of Airplane mode. As she did, a notification came in. _One text message from ‘Mallory’._ She opened it immediately and read the contents of the text. 

  


  


_“Hey! You won’t believe where I am right now!”_

  


  


Jess typed a quick reply, _“Where?”_

  


  


It took only seconds for her to receive a message back, _“NYC!”_

  


  


Jess had to hold back a squeal of excitement as she read the text and crafted a response. _“OMG! Why?”_

  


 

_“There’s a conference I was invited to on Wednesday. I meant to tell you I’d be in town sooner but I completely forgot. I know you’re busy with your internship but is there any chance we can do something tonight?”_

  


  


Jess grinned widely, _“Yeah! Where are you staying?”_

  


  


_“_ Davison, are you coming?” 

  


 

Jess looked up from her phone to see Barba holding the elevator open. “Sorry,” she blushed deeply as she shuffled quickly out of the elevator and into the lobby of the courthouse. 

  


  


“You’re happy,” The ADA noticed. 

  


  


“Yeah, one of my old roommates just told me she’s in town—She’s at Vanderbilt now so I haven’t seen her in a year. She wants to meet up this evening.” She explained as they left the building, coming upon the staircase in front of the courthouse.

  


  


“Just make sure you’re in working shape tomorrow. We have a case to prepare.” 

  


  


“Yes, sir,” Davison told him as they descended the stairway.

  


  


* * *

**Bello Restaurant**

**863 9th Avenue**

**7:10 PM, Monday, July 7**

* * *

****

****  


****  


“Mal, I still can’t believe you’re here!” Jess exclaimed as she took a sip of Merlot. The two friends were sitting at the bar of a restaurant near where her Mallory was staying in Lincoln Square. 

  


  


Mallory shifted in her stool, leaning herself against the bar. “I know! It’s so weird to be back here. Nashville is so different from the city.”

  


  


“I know, I used to live an hour from Vandy. Remember?” She laughed, “So which do you prefer: Nashville or New York?”

  


  


“Nashville, honestly. It’s great here, but there are so many people and no southern charm.” 

  


  


“It’s funny, what you hate about the city is what I love,” 

  


  


Mallory brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face, “So what’ve I missed here?”

  


  


Jess shrugged, “Honestly, not much. A couple new shows opened on Broadway that were pretty great, umm…Brit and Coleman finally tied the knot!”

  


  


“About time,” She laughed.

  


  


“No joke, they only spent two years hooking up while we were trying to sleep. So speaking of relationships, have you met anyone?”

  


  


“There’s one,” Mallory replied, blushing.

  


  


“Ohhhhh, tell me more,” Jessica pressed.

  


  


“Well, she’s a brunette, taller than me—like everyone is, you know-- a total dork, too. She’s in the bio-med grad program.”

  


  


Jess grinned widely, “That’s awesome! I’m really happy for you!” 

  


  


“So what about you?”

  


 

Jess raised her eyebrows and took a long sip of her wine, “What do you think? I’ve never been in a relationship before. You really think that would change in a year?”

  


  


“You’ll find someone. Who knows, you could already know them and you don’t even know it.”

  


  


Jess took another sip, “I’ll keep that in mind, but I really only talk to two guys and I seriously doubt anything would happen with either of them.”

  


  


“Who are they?”

  


  


“Mark Walker,” Jess listed, picturing the usually hung-over blond. 

  


  


“The one who tried to kiss you Freshman year?” 

  


  


“The one who’s being kind enough to let me stay in his apartment this summer,” Jess described, “And then there’s my boss.”

  


  


“Your boss?”

  


  


“Assistant District Attorney Rafael Barba,” She named, dramatically.

  


  


“Sounds hot,” Mallory laughed. 

  


  


She nodded, “You should see the suits he wears. They probably cost more than my entire tuition. He’s also a sarcastic jerk, though.” 

  


  


“Wow,” The blonde took a sip of her Riesling, “So what do you do at this internship?”

  


  


“It was mainly filing things and converting paper files to digital, you know, clerical work, but he decided to let me help him on this case we’re working on right now that’s going to trial next week.”

  


  


“Are you enjoying it?” Mallory questioned.

  


  


“Surprisingly, yes. I mean I didn’t have any expectations when I went in, so there was no chance of disappointing me anyway.” 

  


  


“Yep, you haven't changed a bit.” She stated and finished her glass.

  


  


“You have,” Jess took another sip of her wine. “There’s a glow in your eye that you didn’t have before. The south’s treating you better than it did me.”

  


  


Mallory sighed, “New York isn't for everyone. I do miss Fordham, though.”

  


  


“Of course you miss Fordham. Once a Ram, always a Ram.” Jess told her friend as she heard a voice in the seat to her left. She glanced over, noticing a man likely a few years older than her with light brown hair styled with gel.

  


  


“‘Scuse me, do you go to Fordham?” The man asked.

  


 

“Yeah, I do, and she used to,” Jess nodded her head towards Mallory. “Do you?”

  


  


“Fordham Law, night school,” He told them, proudly.

  


  


“That’s awesome! I’m going into my last year of undergrad but I’m applying for the Law School right now.” 

  


 

“Really? It’s a great program—I’m Sonny, by the way.”

  


  


“I’m Jessica and this is Mallory, it’s nice to meet you.” 

  


  


Sonny shook hands with the two, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, too. Can I get either of you another drink?”

  


  


Jess and Mallory looked at each other, both debating whether or not to. Jess sighed and looked back at Sonny. “I’d love to, but I have to work tomorrow morning _and_ drive home, so I really shouldn’t.”

  


  


Mallory shook her head with a smile, “I shouldn’t, I can hardly manage one glass.”

  


  


“How about dessert, then? They make an excellent tiramisu here.” 

  


  


“Sure, why not?” Jess shrugged. 

  


  


Sonny turned towards the bartender and ordered. When he was finished he turned back towards the women, mainly Jess. “What kind of job do you have that you can’t have another drink?” 

  


  


“I’m interning at the Manhattan District Attorney’s office,” She informed him. “I want to be a prosecutor when I’m out of school.”

  


  


“Me too! I’ve been talking with a few different ADA’s in Staten, hoping to get my name known around there for when the time comes.” Sonny replied.

  


  


“That’s really cool, how’d you meet them?” Mallory asked.

  


  


“I’m a Detective—Staten Island Special Victims Unit,” 

  


  


Jess’s face lit up at Sonny’s statement, “Oh my gosh, I work closely with the Manhattan SVU! The ADA I’m assigned to focuses on sex crimes.”

  


  


“Wow, I’ve read about some of the cases in the news. Two years ago they handled the rape case with the author of that sex book—Twenty Five Acts, you know it?”

  


  


Jess nodded, “Know it, but never read it.”

  


  


“Nor have I, but the ADA on the case had to prove that she didn’t want it after it came out that she didn’t write the book. So the girl had been choked by the perp’s belt. How does he prove it? He gets the guy to do a demonstration with the belt around the attorney’s neck. Perp loses control and chokes him!”

  


  


Jess chuckled, though was more in shock that would happen in a court of law, “Do you know who the ADA was? Maybe I know him.”

  


  


“I don’t. You should look up the case, though. It’s an interesting read.”

  


  


“I will,” Jessica told him. 

  


  


“What do you do?” He asked Mallory.

  


  


“I work part time at Fox 17 News in Nashville,”

  


  


“She wants to be one of those political journalists who get in arguments on TV,” Jess interjected, “She’s the only Republican I can stand. Speaking of which—no politics tonight, okay? I hear enough of it at work. Apparently, every rape case we take has some sort of place in politics, it’s exhausting.”

  


Despite Jess’s request, the three discussed their stances on current policies were discussed until the tiramisu was delivered to them. 

  


  


“This is amazing,” Mallory said after taking a bite of the dessert.

 

  


“It really is,” Jessica agreed. 

  


  


“I’m Italian, I know where all the best Italian food is in the city.” 

  


  


Jess swallowed, “So what other places should I be checking out?” 

`

 

“Pangione’s is great over in Little Italy,” He told her.

  


  


“I’ve never been there, have you?” Jess looked over at her friend who shook her head.

  


  


The brunette nodded, “I’ll have to try ‘em sometime. Could you text me the name of the place so I won't forget it?”

  


  


The man looked at her for a moment before pulling out his phone, “Sure, put in your number.” 

  


  


Jess took the phone from his hand and typed her number into the box, thankful that her move had worked. “Here you go,” She said as she handed him back the phone, “Could you also send me your name so I get it right when I put it in my contacts?” 

  


  


He nodded and sent the text, which Jess received seconds later. “Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr, that’s quite the mouthful” She laughed.

  


  


Sonny shrugged, “You can keep calling me Sonny,”

  


  


“Duly noted,” Jess laughed as she stowed her phone back in the pocket of her pants. 

  


* * *

**Mark’s Apartment**

**10:04 PM, Monday, July 7**

* * *

****

****  


_“You really think he was into me?”_ Jess texted Mallory as she shrugged off her blazer.

  


 

_“Definitely”_ Mallory responded. 

  


  


Jess almost laughed aloud, “ _He’s probably like 10 years older than me, there’s no way.”_

  


  


_“I know what I saw”_

  


  


She rolled her eyes, _“You clearly don’t”_

  


  


_“You were flirting with him”_

  


 

_“I was not!”_

  


  


_“Yes, you were.”_

  


 

_“Okay, maybe a little,”_ Jess sent. It was the truth, she had been flirting with him. He was attractive and well dressed, along with being in law school _and_ a detective. He was a perfect package, wrapped in a skinny Italian bow. _“But it’s not like anything is gonna happen. You know me.”_

  


  


Seconds later she received a response, _“Forget your boss and go for that detective. There are so many guys who’ve been into you but you always back down.”_

  


  


Jessica sighed, _“We’ll see,”_

  


  


_“Don’t lead that Sonny on. He’s clearly a good guy. But also don’t go being starry-eyed over someone you’ll never actually be with.”_

  


  


_“Why do you seriously assume I have a crush on my boss?”_ Jess began to put on her pajamas.

  


  


_“Do you?”_

  


  


_“That’s not the point!”_

  


  


_“Sureeee”_

  


  


Jess threw her phone down on the bed and went to the fridge to grab some water. Mallory was wrong, there was no chance in hell she liked her boss like that, was there? Sure, there was that day in the shower. Not to mention all the times she caught herself staring at him while he paced around his office. There was no way she could like him. Even if she did, her friend was right: she would never actually be with him. There was no chance. Jessica sighed and crawled into her bed, picking up her phone and plugging it into the power cord. 

  


 

“I don’t have a crush on my boss,” She told herself firmly, yet as she laid her head down on her pillow, for a split second she felt herself wishing someone was next to her: and that personwasn’t Italian. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think I'd be able to finish this chapter on time, but I did! I reached a dull point in my writing so I decided to write in a new character who will make a few appearances, along with introducing a certain character from the SVU-verse I love who wasn't supposed to make an appearance for a couple more chapters (but I felt I could give him a better story arc by introducing him early). 
> 
> I do hope y'all enjoy and keep reading/commenting/leaving kudos. It keeps me inspired to keep writing!
> 
> I also take one-shot requests on my blog: inconspicuous-esparza.tumblr.com


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess helps prep Samantha Cranton for trial and Barba tries to make soup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long but I'm finally updating! This chapter was really hard to write at first, but at the last minute, I changed where I was going with it and it became a new sort of style! I hope y'all don't mind my change of viewpoint in this chapter, but I needed it to help thicken my plot. So sit back, relax, and enjoy Chapter 8! 
> 
> My next update will be April 16 if all goes to plan!

* * *

**New York City Supreme Court**

**60 Centre Street**

**8:35 AM, Wednesday, July 9**

* * *

 

 

Jessica leaned against the heavy door, pushing it open enough for her to slip inside. She glanced around the wood-paneled courtroom. It was certainly more elegant than the arraignment courtroom she’d been in earlier that week, although that could just be because there were significantly more people in the other room. She moved further in as she scanned the room for her mentor, although he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was an older woman in the courtroom. 

 

“Are you lost,” The woman asked, her shrill voice piercing through the air. 

 

 

Jess blushed as a twinge of panic shot through her, “I was supposed to meet ADA Barba here, I think. I might have the wrong courtroom?” 

 

 

“I’d assume so, as a trial will be taking place in this room within the hour.”

 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll…um…I’ll just go try to find him. I got here a little early, so maybe I’ll be able to catch him by the entrance if he isn’t here yet.” An overwhelming feeling of embarrassment began to overtake her as she began to back away.

 

 

“Wait,” She ordered the intern. “Do you know what courtroom you’re supposed to meet him in?”

 

 

“Courtroom 201,” Jessica squeaked. 

 

 

The judge nodded, “Let me take you there. You don’t want to get lost again.” 

 

 

“Okay,”

 

 

The woman moved towards the doors and Jess followed suit. “I’m Judge Gardner, and you are?”

 

 

“Jessica Davison. It’s nice to meet you.”

 

 

“You said you were meeting Barba?”

 

 

“Yes, I’m his intern.”

 

 

“How long have you been working for him?”

 

 

“A little over a month now,”

 

 

“And you haven’t quit yet?”

 

 

“No?”

 

 

“I’m shocked,”

 

 

“May I ask why?”

 

 

“He’s brilliant, I won’t deny that, but his personality is comparable to a donkey’s rear end.”

 

 

“Everyone says that, but I don’t think I’ve seen that side of him.” Jess shrugged. 

 

 

The judge scoffed, “Then he either likes you enough to contain how insufferable he is or you’re just too daft to see it.”

 

 

Jess bit her lip, offended and unsure how to respond. Thankfully, the judge continued. “From the moment he stepped into my courtroom I could tell he was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world and—”

 

 

“Everybody hoped he would never come there again. I’ve read Pride and Prejudice, as well.” Jess recognized the voice immediately and turned towards it, as did her companion. Their eyes fell on the subject of the conversation himself. 

 

 

“Mr. Barba,” The woman greeted, “You need to keep better track of your intern. I found her lost in my courtroom.”

 

 

“The building’s rather large, I’m not surprised.”

 

 

The woman gave him a look, “Nothing surprises you,"

 

 

Jess watched as the ADA smirked in response, unsure what to say or do for the second time in the last fifteen minutes. Thankfully, Barba started again. "Now, if you don’t mind, Ms. Davison and I have a witness to prep."

 

 

“I'm sure you do," 

 

 

"She's...intense," Jess remarked once they'd walked out of earshot. 

 

 

"When I first started in Brooklyn, she was the defense for my first case. Two Harvard-educated lawyers, one seasoned, one new, against each other in a he-said/she-said. Her client was found guilty and she hasn't liked me since."

 

 

“Wow, you really won your first case?”

 

 

Barba nodded in response, a spark of pride gleaming in his eyes.

 

 

“I’m impressed, even back—what, 30 years?—you were a great prosecutor.” She told him truthfully. 

 

 

“I’m not that old,” 

 

 

“I’m aware,” Jess’s laughter filled the space between the two. “It’s called a ‘hyperbole’, counselor.” 

 

 

He rolled his eyes at her, “How old do you think I am?”

 

 

“I’ve never really thought about it,” She shrugged, though it was a lie. Jessica had thought about it, many times. She’d examined his features, looking for gray hairs, wrinkles, something that could give her an answer, though she’d never googled him. It’d be easy to find him on the Harvard alumni site, or even in a newspaper, but she’d never tried. If asked, she’d claim it was unimportant, but in truth, she just didn’t want to see that he was significantly older than her, confirming there was no chance of the two ever being romantically involved. 

 

 

“Never?” 

 

 

_“Can he tell that I’m lying? He is a lawyer, sniffing out a lie is basically a sixth sense for him.”_ Jess wondered. However, rather than answering his question, she took a page from the ADA’s own book and deflected. “Are you wanting me to guess?”

 

 

“Do you want to know?”

 

 

“There’s a risk in this game. There are only three things that could happen: I either get it right and impress you; or I guess too high and offend you; or I guess much younger and flatter you.”

 

 

“Which will it be?” 

 

 

Jess stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out a reasonable number to say. Finally, she settled on a number, probably little younger than he probably was. ”Thirty-eight?”

 

 

“You chose to aim for the third possible result,” He noted.

 

 

“Why would I try to boost your ego? All due respect, it’s already off the charts.”

 

 

“Guess again,”

 

 

“I don’t know, forty-two?”

 

 

“Closer,” Barba told her. Jess watched as he lifted his cup of coffee to his lips. 

 

 

“Eighty-five,”

 

 

Jess flinched as Barba made a noise, her remark causing him almost laugh mid-sip. He managed to swallow the hot drink and took a deep breath before replying. “Eighty-five?”

 

 

“I wanted to see if there was a fourth possible result in this game. It turns out I was right.” Jess shrugged, chuckling at Barba’s reaction. 

 

 

“I’m ending this before any more coffee comes up my nose,” He stated, wiping the underside of his nostrils with a smile. 

 

 

“So I won, right?” 

 

 

“No,” He sighed. 

 

 

Jess started at him, his smile lighting the hall they were walking in. It was much nicer than his usual smirk, filling Jess’s heart with a loving warmth. She couldn't help but hope it never faded away. 

 

 

Barba looked at her, noticing the girl’s fixed gaze, “What are you staring at?” 

 

 

Jess blushed slightly, “You, I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you actually smile.” 

 

 

“Don’t get used to it,” He replied, the smile still leaving a glow on his face. 

 

 

Jess simply smiled back at him. For the first moment that day she’d felt entirely at peace. At Rafael Barba’s side, nothing could go wrong. The two reached the elevator a couple seconds later, which was just beginning to close. Barba swiftly put out his hand, catching the door and leading Jessica inside. It was filled nearly to capacity and she found herself pushed up against Barba. The scent of his cologne filled her senses, the woodsy musk acting as a fog in her mind so all the girl could think of was him. The warmth of his body against her’s was like a hug from God and she never wanted it to end. Jess couldn’t tell if it had been years or only seconds once the doors opened again and she was pushed out into the cold. 

 

Barba directed her to a door only a couple of strides from the elevator. He pulled open the heavy wooden door for her, letting Jessica enter the courtroom. She spotted Rollins and another younger woman about Jessica’s age talking near the front of the room. The two women looked over to the two who’d just entered. 

 

 

“Samantha Cranton, I’m ADA Rafael Barba. I’ll be prosecuting this case.” He approached the victim and held out his hand. The girl took his hand in hers hesitantly. She shook softly, not looking the ADA in the eye. “Are you ready to get started?” 

 

 

She took a deep breath before answering, “Yeah, I am.”

 

 

“Okay, we’re gonna have you sit on the stand like you were actually testifying. Barba will lead you through it.” Rollins told her. The victim nodded in response, moving to take her seat at the stand. 

 

 

Rollins moved to where the jury sat and took a seat as Barba moved to put his things down at his table and looked as his intern. Noticing his signal, Jess moved to sit down at the far end of the table while the ADA got to work. 

 

 

“Ms. Cranton, on the night of July 4, where were you?”

 

 

“I was at a bar,” She started. 

 

 

“What were you doing at the bar?” 

 

 

“I went to have a drink. They were having a buy-one-get-one-free at the bar.”

 

 

“Don’t mention the sale,” Barba commented. “How many drinks did you have?”

 

 

“I had two beers,”

 

 

“While you were drinking, were you with anyone?”

 

 

“Not until I started my second drink. A guy approached me and we started talking.”

 

 

“What happened next?”

 

 

“I finished my drink. We went and danced for a while, we started making out. After a while, I told him I had to go to the bathroom and said him I’d be right back, but he followed me.”

 

 

“Go on,”

 

 

“He kept coming closer, blocked me from going to the bathroom. He asked me why I was being such a tease. I told him I wasn't and he slapped me. I tried to get away but he pushed me into the bathroom.”

 

 

“What happened in the bathroom?”

 

 

“He pushed me against the sink, I was facing it. I couldn’t get away. He took of his belt and put it around my neck, choking me. Then he pulled up my skirt and pushed my underwear aside…he raped me.” 

 

 

Jess felt her heart ripped from her chest as the girl started sobbing. She longed to go up and comfort her, to tell her it would be okay and he couldn’t hurt her. However, Jess remained in her seat, helpless.

 

 

“Do you need a moment, Ms. Cranton?” She nodded through her sobs. Barba moved over to the table where Jess sat, pulling a folder from his briefcase. “Rollins, I need a moment with you.” He told the blonde. “Davison, you can stay here.” 

 

 

She nodded and watched the two exit the courtroom, leaving Jess and the sobbing woman alone. She moved towards her carefully. “Can I get you anything? Coffee?” Jessica asked her. 

 

 

Cranton shook her head. “I should’ve never gone to that bar, not dressed like that. I shouldn’t have had anything to drink. I shouldn’t have flirted with him.”

 

 

“It’s not your fault,”

 

 

“How?”

 

 

“You didn’t ask to be raped. He assaulted you. Nothing excuses that. The jury’s gonna see you and they're gonna see him, and they’ll convict.”

 

 

“What if they don’t? I know how this goes; I watch the news. They’ll make me out to be a slut and the jury won’t know who to believe. One person’s all it takes.” 

 

 

Jessica bit her lip and hoped the woman wouldn’t see through her, “We have solid evidence. We just need your testimony of what happened in that bathroom and he’ll be done.”

 

 

“I can't do it. I just can’t.”

 

 

“You can, I know you can.”

 

 

“Will he be in here while I’m testifying?”

 

 

She took a deep breath, “Yes, he will.”

 

 

“Then I can't do it,” The woman hid her head in her hands, crying. 

 

 

“He can't hurt you. There’ll be security guards along and you’ll have Detective Rollins here for you,”

 

 

“I just…I can’t. I went in for the lineup at the precinct the other day and I had a panic attack. I just can’t do it.” The girl looked up at Jessica. “You work him right? The prosecutor?”

 

 

“I do; I’m his intern.”

 

 

“Can you talk to him? Tell him I can’t testify?”

 

 

Jess looked at her, trying to figure out what to say. “When he and Detective Rollins get back, I’ll pull him aside. Although, I really think you should reconsider.”

 

 

“I’m sorry,”

 

 

“Don’t be sorry, you’ll be okay. You’re alive, right? You’ve survived the worst already.”

 

 

“Then why isn’t it enough?”

 

 

Jess sighed, wishing she could do more to comfort the woman. She remembered the video of Cranton at the club, how she’d seemed so happy until the perpetrator attacked her. Suddenly, the girl had an idea. “What makes you happy?”

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“What drives you to get out of bed in the morning? What gives you a reason to keep going?”

 

 

“I don’t know,” She paused for a moment, thinking. “My baby sister, I guess. She’s only 7 months but she’s so…full of life.”

 

 

“What’s her name?”

 

 

“Sarah,” She sniffled, a small smile painting itself on her face. 

 

 

“That’s a beautiful name,”

 

“She’s a beautiful girl. She’s got this curly hair; I don’t know where she gets it from, our parents both have dark hair.” Cranton lit up as she talked about her sister, almost forgetting the horrible events she’d been narrating just a couple moments earlier. 

 

 

“How often do you get to see her?”

 

 

“Every day, I still live at home.”

 

 

“I want you to spend some time with her tonight, okay?”

 

 

“Okay,”

 

 

Samantha continued to tell the intern all about her baby sister until Barba and Rollins returned to the courtroom. Jess walked over quickly to meet them, wanting to inform them of Cranton’s decision. “Mr. Barba, could I have a word with you, really quick?” She looked over at Rollins, “You should hear this, too.”

 

 

Barba nodded and led the two back out of the courtroom, to the other side of the door. Jessica didn’t give them a chance to say anything before she spoke, “She decided she’s not going to testify. She asked me to tell you that she couldn’t. She’s traumatized.”

 

 

“Did you try to convince her otherwise?”

 

 

Jess bit her lip, anxiously. She hadn’t. How could she when the woman had broken down in front of her? “I didn’t know what to say,”

 

 

“I’ll talk to her,” Rollins stated before returning into the courtroom, leaving Barba and his intern alone. 

 

 

“Is there any chance of getting a conviction without her testimony?” 

 

 

“The video doesn’t show the rape. We need her.”

 

 

“Can’t you offer a deal?”

 

 

Barba nodded, “Not once the defense hears Cranton’s not testifying. They know without her, there’s no case.”

 

 

“Damn,”

 

 

“What about if I convinced her to say she’ll still testify, but we offer a deal anyway? That way we don’t need to tell the defense that she doesn’t actually intend to testify?” 

 

 

“This is simply hypothetical, correct?”

 

 

Jessica started at him for a moment, slowly realizing what he meant. It wasn’t technically allowed, but if it happened without him knowing…“Yeah, exactly.” She told him, before going back into the courtroom to act on her idea.

 

 

* * *

**Office of**

**ADA Rafael Barba**

**1 Hogan Place**

**4:30 PM, Thursday, July 10**

* * *

 

 

 

“I’m willing to offer a deal in order to spare the victim a trial, however, she will testify, if necessary.” 

 

 

“Rape 3—no jail time,” The defense attorney pitched. 

 

 

Rafael scoffed, “Rape 1, five years jail-time, and he goes on the registry.”

 

 

“Rape 1, one year jail and 3 on probation.”

 

“And he goes on the registry”

 

 

“I’ll confer with my client but I’m sure we have a deal,”

 

 

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Rafael nodded at the defense attorney as he exited the office. He glanced over to the table, expecting a comment from his intern, but her normal space was empty. She’d gone back to the precinct with Rollins and the victim after the meeting at the courthouse on Wednesday, although around 1:30 he’d received a text from Jessica saying she wasn’t feeling well and he told her to go home and get some rest. Today, she’d told him she was still sick and couldn’t come in. 

 

 

It had been a little over a month since the last time he’d been left alone to work in his office. There were no occasional sniffles, no sounds of rustling paper or hair being pulled back. He sighed and sat back in his chair, glancing at the files on his desk. After a couple of seconds, he began digging through the files in one of his drawers, searching for something until finally, he pulled out a small packet. He stood up and grabbed his blazer from the back of his chair, sliding it on as he grabbed his briefcase and exited his office, clutching the packet in his hand. “Carmen, I’m taking an early day. If anything important happens, call me. It’s good to have you back.”

 

 

She nodded, “I can’t imagine what’s so important to make you leave early for the first time in years,”

 

 

Rafael ignored her and made his way out of the building. He was quickly able to find a yellow cab and directed it to the nearest Food Emporium. A little over an hour later he found himself in his kitchen with a package of egg noodles, some carrots, and a pre-cooked chicken all boiling in a large pot, as he’d watched his mom make when he was little. After a while, he went to taste it, though nearly gagged after doing so. He went over the process in his head, trying to figure out why it tasted so wrong—though no revelation came. So, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. 

 

 

“Rafi?”

 

 

“Mami,”

 

 

“It’s good to hear from you! You’ve been so busy lately!” She exclaimed.

 

 

Rafael nodded as thoughts of all the work he left on his desk ran through his mind. “I still am, but I have a question for you.”

 

 

“Hmm?”

 

 

“How do you make chicken noodle soup?”

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“I’m making chicken soup, but it doesn’t taste right.” He explained. 

 

 

“What did you put in it?”

 

 

He glanced around the kitchen, listing ingredients as he saw them. “Chicken, carrots, celery, noodles, some spices…”

 

 

“What brand of chicken broth did you use?”

 

 

“Chicken broth?” 

 

 

“You did add chicken broth, didn’t you?”

 

 

Rafael nearly put his head in his hands in exasperation. How had he not remembered that chicken broth is used to make chicken soup? “I’ll call you back later,” 

 

 

“This is why you’re a lawyer and not a chef,” His mother laughed on the other end before they said their goodbyes. 

 

 

Rafael pocketed his phone and looked disdainfully at the boiling pot of chicken water. How had he, a Harvard-educated lawyer, managed to screw up something as simple as chicken noodle soup? He turned off the stove and removed the pot from the heat, not expecting the pot to be as heavy as it was and almost spilling the contents all over himself. At that, he decided to abandon the idea of homemade soup. 

 

 

An hour later, he exiting the C train with a to-go container of store-bought chicken noodle soup in hand. The address from the packet led him to a 7-floor apartment building on West 82nd Street. He caught the door as a man exited, and stepped into the ground floor hallway. He used his free hand to pull out the packet again, noting the apartment listed was 7B. Sighing, he began his ascent up the steep stairwell, due to the lack of an elevator in the building. He climbed one floor, then another, and then another, until finally, he reached the top, close to being winded. He found 7B within seconds and went to rap on the door, though pulled away before he did as a pang of nervousness flashed through him. Suddenly, he felt 17 years old again, standing outside the door of Lauren Sullivan’s brownstone, with a bouquet of flowers to ask her to prom. But this wasn’t high school. Twenty-seven years had gone by since then, yet the same feeling came. This time, however, Rafael took a deep breath then knocked on the door, rather than running away. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barba brings Jessica some chicken noodle soup and Jess gets surprising news.

* * *

**Mark's Apartment**

**West 82nd St**

**7:18 PM, Thursday, July 10**

* * *

 

 

Jess stirred her from the dazed, binge-watching state she was in at the sound of three knocks on her door. Confused, she put the HGTV show on pause and dragged herself out of bed. She tried not to let vertigo get the best of her as she walked to the door. She opened the door a crack, leaving the chain on, and looked to see who was on the other side. 

 

 

“Barba?” 

 

 

“I wanted to see how you’re doing,”

 

 

“I’m the epitome of perfection,” Jess told him, her voice thick with sarcasm. A second went by, but Barba didn’t hit her with any snark, so Jess softened. “Would you like to come in?” Jess didn’t wait for a response before closing the door enough to release the chain. She opened the door fully to reveal herself and her borrowed apartment. Jess, in this moment, had no humility. She didn’t care that she was wearing a short pajama short and a loose t-shirt in front of her boss, nor did she care that her work clothes from Tuesday was strewn about the floor, along with various empty water-bottles. Since coming home sick, she hadn’t bothered to straighten up. If Barba noticed—or cared, for that matter—he didn’t say anything about it. Rather, he stepped into the small apartment. Jess closed the door behind him and leaned against it, mainly because she didn’t feel she could keep herself up much longer.

 

 

“I brought you some soup,” Barba said, holding up the brown paper bag. 

 

 

“You brought me soup?”

 

 

He nodded, still holding up the bag, “Homestyle chicken noodle,” 

 

 

“Homestyle? Did you make it?” 

 

 

Barba stuck out his tongue to wet his lips, “I tried, though the desired outcome wasn’t met, so I figured the best course of action would be to buy it instead.”

 

 

Jess blushed, “So you bought and brought me soup?”

 

 

“Yes,”

 

 

“That’s so sweet, thank you.” She told him. “I’d take it from you but I think I’m about to pass out,”

 

 

He put the soup down on the countertop stove just a step away from him and quickly rushed over to Jess, ready to catch her if she fell. Barba was close—so close. Almost pinning her against the door. Under any other circumstance—-

 

 

“You should lie down,” Barba told her, completely unaware of the thought that just ran through Jessica’s mind.

 

 

“Yeah that's probably a good idea, I don’t think I can make it by myself, though.” 

 

 

He put his arm around her and under her arms to give her the support she needed to get back to the bed on the other side of the room. Slowly, he guided her onto the bed and into a sitting position. “Better?” He asked.

 

 

“Much,” Jessica told him. “So the soup…Is it good soup?”

 

 

“Yelp gave it 4 and a half stars, so I’d say so.” 

 

 

She laughed, “I can't wait to have some then! I’ve basically been living off of Gatorade and water the past day and a half.”

 

 

“You have been eating?”

 

 

Jess shrugged, her silence answering his question. 

 

 

Barba moved over to the counter, “I’m getting you that soup,” He opened the bag and pulled out the to-go container. He took off the lid and found it was still steaming, even after the fifteen-minute subway ride. He pulled the plastic spoon and two packets of saltines from the bag and put them on the counter. “Do you have a tray?” He asked as he began opening cabinets. 

 

 

“I don't think so,” 

 

 

He nodded and pulled out a large plate from the cabinet he was currently looking through. He placed the soup, spoon, and crackers on it, using the plate as a makeshift tray. He brought it over to Jess, who has positioned herself so she could sit up against the pillows pushed against the headboard. Barba laid the plate on her lap and moved to sit on the end of the bed, facing her. Jess quickly began eating the soup. She hadn’t realized how hungry she actually was until she’d had the first spoonful. 

 

 

“This soup is amazing,” 

 

“I’m glad,” Barba smiled at her and pulled out his phone. “I have good news.”

 

 

Jess raised her eyebrows as she swallowed another spoonful of soup in response. 

 

 

“Samantha Cranton doesn’t have to testify. The defense just agreed to a deal for Rape 1, with one year in jail and three on probation. He’ll go on the registry.”

 

 

She swallowed. “That’s good! She’ll be happy to hear it.”

 

 

The two sat on the bed as Jessica finished her soup while Barba worked on his phone. She couldn’t help but think how surreal it was. Here was Rafael Barba, lounging with her on her bed. There was no doubt in her mind that he had work to do, but instead he was here with her in this borrowed apartment. It felt…right. 

 

 

Jess put the soup container on the floor next to the bed and grabbed her phone, noticing she had a missed text from a Dominick Carisi jr. 

 

 

_“The name of the place was Pangione’s”_

 

 

Jess had been so busy she’d nearly forgotten about the Staten Island Detective from the bar. As she began to draft a text in response, another text came in.

 

 

_“Sorry I didn’t text you earlier. Work’s been busy. I found the name of that DA who took the Twenty-Five Acts case. Rafael Barba, in case you know him.”_

 

 

Jess coughed at the text, remembering the story he’d told her about the ADA letting a defendant choke him with a belt to win the case. Barba looked over at her, slightly alarmed by the cough. 

 

 

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

 

 

“You let a guy choke you with a belt in court?” Jess asked him in disbelief.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

Jess looked at him, wide-eyed. “You were the prosecutor on the Twenty-Five Acts case, right? You put a belt around your neck and let him choke you with it?.” It wasn’t a question this time. 

 

 

“I needed to prove my case,” He shrugged.

 

 

“So you let him choke you with a belt,”

 

 

“Are you impressed or mortified?”

 

 

“Both,” Jess told him. 

 

 

“It was one of my first cases in Manhattan and my first case working directly with the squad,”

 

 

“Did it hurt?”

 

 

“Only when he lost control,”

 

 

“I don’t think I would’ve been able to do that, I’d be terrified.”

 

 

“There were security guards and detectives. I wasn’t worried.”

 

 

“Still. I’d have to really trust someone to let them do that to me, no matter the circumstance.”

 

 

 

Barba put his hands on his lap, “Don’t worry, I doubt you’ll find yourself in that position, un—well I should probably go. I have some paperwork to finish and you need sleep.”

 

 

“Oh…yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

 

 

Barba moved off of the bed. “Do you need anything else, before I go?”

 

 

_Stay._

 

 

“Nope, I’m fine. Thank you for the soup. I really appreciate it.”

 

 

“Of course. I’ll see myself out. Feel better.”

 

 

Almost as suddenly as he appeared, he was gone. Jess sighed. His visit had been completely unexpected, yet it felt right—as if he was meant to come see her. He acted like he was a _friend,_ not a coworker. Not her boss. He brought her soup, saw her in pajamas, and even sat on her bed. It was surreal, and now, within seconds, it felt like a distant memory. Accepting the current reality, Jess picked up her phone and finished the text she had started writing to Sonny. 

 

 

_“Thanks! Don’t worry about it, I’ve been pretty busy too. And yeah, I definitely know Barba.”_

 

 

She sent the text and positioned herself under the covers of the bed, moving the pillow the ADA had been leaning against, before turning off the lights. The city outside sounded the same as it always did, the occasional honks of car horns in the distance. Over the past month, she’d grown to love it more than the sounds of chattering in the dorm next to her’s. As she curled up against one of her pillows, her phone lit with another text.

 

 

“ _That’s awesome!”_

 

 

Jess didn’t bother replying. Her vision was growing blurry and the temptation to sleep grew stronger, so she quickly turned on her alarm for the next day—just in case she was feeling well enough to return to the office in the morning—and plugged in her phone. Finally, she rolled away from her phone and pushed up against the pillow her mentor had been leaning on. The faint smell of Barba’s cologne filled her as she drifted off to sleep. 

 

* * *

**Rafael Barba’s Apartment**

**Brooklyn**

**10:05 PM, Thursday, July 10**

* * *

 

 

Rafael opened the door to his apartment and stepped in, locking the door behind him. It was exactly the same as when he left, yet somehow more quiet, and far emptier. He went back into the bathroom and threw on the shower water. He wished he could’ve stayed longer with Jess, but he knew he’d had to get out of there. Everything was going perfectly fine until she brought up the Jocelyn Paley case. No, it wasn’t the case itself, but the _belt—_ more specifically—her perspective on the belt. She was innocent, he knew that from the moment he met her, however, the conversation was anything but. When she started talking about if she was in the position, he couldn’t stop himself from picturing it, though it wasn’t a perpetrator holding the strap. With that and the blood rushing to his lap, he knew he had to get out. She was half his age _and_ his intern; the thought of having a personal relationship was ridiculous, and for the next couple weeks: forbidden.

 

 

He tripped the many layers of suit from his body, carefully folding and placing each item gently on the sink. Taking a look down at his abdomen, he stepped into the shower. Cold water cascaded onto him, but he simply shivered and stepped further into it, letting the water clean him; distract him—washing all notions of _her_ down the drain. 

 

 

After finishing his shower, Rafael dried off threw on a fresh pair of boxer-briefs. After closing the Cranton Case, he finally had a night he could just relax, although it seemed he had many more of those this summer. Now that Carmen was home from her well-deserved vacation, the clerical work of the job depleted dramatically. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, the DA was right. 

 

 

_“Barba, you’re overworked and things are starting to fall through the cracks.”_

 

 

_“I understand, but-“_

 

 

_“I’ve given you leniency, especially with the Simon Wilkes case. You have promise, you could be a judge in fifteen years, but not if you keep putting your career on the line for your friends at SVU.”_

 

 

 

_Rafael looked down, eye contact was far too painful at this moment. The DA was right, recently he was letting his emotions overpower the facts. He was letting Olivia and the rest of the Squad convince him to take cases he really shouldn’t be, but he felt he was doing the right thing, even so._

 

 

_“Sex Crimes are your niche, I can’t deny that. Although, I think you’re forgetting what the law actually states. I know you want to keep working here in Manhattan, correct? So here’s what I’m going to do. Every case you take, you run by me first. If I say you drop it—you drop it.”_

 

 

_It wasn’t an unreasonable request. He knew if he refused, the DA would pull him from sex crimes entirely, and that wasn’t an option…not for him. He’d worked too long and too hard, pouring his heart and soul out advocating for victims, too much so to stop now. So, he nodded in submission._

 

 

_“I also am assigning you an intern for the summer, possibly longer.”_

 

 

_His head shot up. “Sir?”_

 

 

_“Even with me monitoring your case-load, I can’t risk another incident.”_

 

 

_“Sir-“_

 

 

_“You forgot to appear in court! You had nothing prepared and a man who raped five women almost got off clean. I’ve cleaned up the mess and kept it quiet, but that doesn’t change that it happened.”_

 

 

_“I didn’t—“_

 

 

_“Look, a friend of mine from law school called me the other day asking me to do him a favor and accept a late application for a girl he taught this year. I interviewed her today and I’m assigning her to you. Call it an ‘insurance policy’. She’s only an undergrad, but she’ll make sure nothing falls through the cracks. Do you understand me?”_

 

 

_He took a deep breath and returned his gaze to the DA. “I understand,”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, another flashback but this time from Barba's POV! Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos. It inspires me to write.  
> Follow my tumblrs:  
> personal: assumption-of-risk.tumblr.com  
> raúl blog: inconspicuous-esparza.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
> PLEASE COMMENT! I LOVE IT WHEN Y'ALL TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE PARTS AND LINES AND HOW I HURT YOUR EMOTIONS!
> 
> My next update should be April 30 or May 7.


	10. Jess's 22nd Birthday (Bonus Content)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jess celebrates her 22nd birthday with her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to update! Finals, work, moving, and more have all kept me from having time to write. I wrote this outtake back in early May and held off posting it for a while. It's entirely un-edited and skeleton bare, so no constructive criticism, y'all. I know it isn't great. Hopefully, it gives everyone some insight into Jess's tastes and keeps everyone from missing this work too much while I'm gone.

The loud music blasted as Jess made her way into the back of the limo, following her friends in front of her.Almost immediately after sitting down, Mallory handed her a flute of champagne. 

 

 

"Congrats Birthday Girl! You're officially 22! How does it feel?"

 

 

"The same as 21 felt!" She laughed. 

 

 

"I know we told you to get all dressed up, but it's up to you on what we do tonight. Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do, is what our plans are tonight, okay?" Her friend, Brit told her. 

 

 

She shrugged. "That's sweet, but I've really got no ideas. Honestly, I just expected a quiet night in the dorm."

 

 

"Nooooooo! No way!" Brit nearly yelled, "That's not happening. Not tonight. I'm not having a repeat of what happened last year." 

 

 

"What happened last year?" Lauren asked.

 

 

"Jess spent the entire thing in the dorm studying for midterms and watching Netflix,"

 

 

"Hey, that's was a pretty great birthday! I finished watching The Office and aced Calculus II."

 

 

Lauren coughed, "Oh my god, you're such a nerd."

 

 

Jessica rolled her eyes, "Even more the reason for y'all to pick what we do tonight. I'm just happy to be with all of you. It doesn't matter what we do."

 

 

"No, you have to pick. It's your birthday."

 

 

A sigh. Of course they'd make her pick. Jess couldn't help but think they were doing it just to test her. It took a couple of seconds of thought, but finally, an idea came to her. "Okay, I've got an idea." Jess decided and leaned in toward the driver. "Hey sir, you know any karaoke bars around here?"

 

 

A half hour and a bottle of champagne later, the group found themselves in the corner of a small bar, with a middle aged woman on a small stage scream-belting "My Heart Will Go On". Jess sat back in her chair, paying more attention to her friends' attempts at being supportive of her entertainment choice than the entertainment itself. 

 

 

"I dare all of you to go up there and sing something," She said, finally. 

 

 

Mallory stared at her, "In a bar full of strangers? No way."

 

 

Brit glanced at Lauren who was nervously biting her lip, "I dunno,"

 

 

"Then you guys need more alcohol," Jess said before taking a long sip of her Cuba Libre. 

 

 

"How about you stop being so cocky and get up there then?" Brit challenged. 

 

 

Another long sip. "I will if you will,"

 

 

"Deal," 

 

 

Moments later, Brit had performed a song and returned to the table where Jess was flipping through the songbook. Overall, it was a bad list with very few upbeat songs. 

 

 

"Come on, Jess, you've gotta pick one eventually," Lauren told her. 

 

 

Jess pouted. "It's their fault for only having bad songs." 

 

 

"If you'd let me introduce you to some music that doesn't have a target audience of 12-year-olds, you'd be having a better time." Brit said. 

 

 

"Oh come on, it's not all bad." Mallory defended. "Taylor Swift's music is timeless."

 

 

Jess smiled. "Exactly. It's not like I don't have other music, too. I've got some Broadway cast albums, Billy Joel--" 

 

 

"And...Aly and Aj. You know I'd be willing to bet you have Hannah Montana songs in your music." Brit interrupted. 

 

 

Jess bit her lip and returned to flipping through the songbook, knowing that Brit wasn't wrong. Even though she listens to the radio and finds new songs she likes, most of the music comes off too strong and, a lot of the time, sad or negative. Jess knew it sounded stupid, but if old-school Taylor Swift love songs made her happy, that's what she was going to listen to, no matter what people said. 

 

 

"Okay, well if y'all are going to keep insulting my music choices, I'm going to go get this over with." Jess went up to the stage and selected her song. Within seconds, she was singing. 

 

 

_She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati on a snow white Christmas Eve_

 

 

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe you, Jess!" Mallory laughed, quickly realizing what song was playing. 

 

 

Jess smirked and continued singing. At this point, the alcohol had mostly rid of any and all her inhibitions. Without the booze, Jess would've been locked in a bathroom stall having a panic attack at even the thought of being on stage. 

 

 

_Jesus, take the wheel_  
Take it from my hands  
'Cause I can't do this on my own  
I'm letting go  
So give me one more chance  
And save me from this road I'm on.  
Oh, Jesus, take the wheel

 

 

All at once, the song ended and Jess returned to the table and quickly downed the rest of her drink. 

 

 

"Jess, I'm done with you. I honestly can't believe you did that. Why on earth would you use Jesus Take the Wheel?" Brit said. 

 

 

"It's one of my favorite songs," Jess shrugged. 

 

 

"Why? You've never really come across as the religious type." stated Lauren. "You basically avoid any religious function on campus. So...?" 

 

 

"My old physical therapist, the one I've told you about...Seth? It was his favorite song. He used to play it whenever I'd have a bad day. I saw it on the list and thought 'why not?'" She replied. Suddenly, the booze cloud she'd been floating on disintegrated and she'd fallen back into the real world. The thought him and all the memories of home came flooding through her mind, even with the alcohol filter. 

 

 

"Look tonight's been great but we should head back to the dorms," she suggested, finally. 

 

 

"One more song? A group one? I promise it's a good one." Lauren pleaded. 

 

 

Jess looked at her three friends. She wanted to leave ASAP but she also didn't want to disappoint them. Sighing, Jess agreed. The group made their way to the stage and paired at the two mics. 

 

 

_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?_

_Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality_

_Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see_

_I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy_

_Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low_

_Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me_

 

 

The four girls belted out Bohemian Rhapsody, not caring whether they hit the notes or not. By the end of the song, Jess had forgotten her feelings of wanting to go home and spent the rest of the night with her friends doing bad renditions of classic 80s music and Taylor Swift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/user/227lusdl65r76kj5jxmku64lq/playlist/6tIf2RBggBpR9ODYB2ZyHv
> 
> Now you can listen to the IPOD of Jessica Davison. It's got a good bit of the songs I listen to while writing to get into her mindset.


End file.
